Ask Oloni: “My Boyfriend Asked Me To Have A Threesome With A Girl He’s Had Sex With In The Past”
Your favourite sex and relationship agony aunt
All dilemmas have been sent from real people and taken from www.simplyoloni.com/ask but answered in this feature
So me and my man, we are very adventurous sexually. We like to try new things to keep us going. He brought up the idea of a threesome, which I eventually agreed to do. So I made him take care of the arrangements. And he ended up bringing a girl he’s been intimate with before. After the session, they got intimate while ..
I took a nap. It’s been about a month, and he wants another threesome session with a new person. Am I doing something wrong sexually ? Or I just gotta walk away from him completely. -Anonymous
Oh wow.
I think the first issue which should be addressed is why he chose to have sex again with this first girl whilst you were asleep? Was that part of the deal? (If it was, then that’s fine).
Him wanting another threesome doesn’t mean you both have intimacy issues, it just means he’s quite adventurous and perhaps might even want a complete sexual open relationship with you.
Monogamy isn’t the only way to be with someone romantically, so instead talk to him about it, so you have a better understanding of what he’d like sexually in the future.
My boyfriend is making me hide from my friend that her man has another girl pregnant in another city. My boyfriend is good friends with him and it is through him that my close friend met her now boyfriend. Everything was going well, double dates the lot, until I overheard my boyfriends conversation with my friends man about how he has impregnated a younger girl who he cheated with when he went away for “football tournaments”. I was annoyed with my boyfriend for not telling me but that’s been addressed and I understand the position he was in. However, now I’m in an awkward position because I really want to tell my friend to protect her but my boyfriend has sworn me to secrecy. I don’t want to jeopardise my relationship with either of them so I’m not sure what the best way is to deal with this is? Please help – Anonymous
Sounds to me, like you’re in quite a sticky situation, although it’s important you don’t break your bf’s trust, it’s best to put yourself in your friends position. Would you want her to tell you if the shoe was on the other foot???
I’d say, the best way to go about it. Is to tell your boyfriend straight up, that you’re going to tell your friend and explain, that it’s far too messed up for you to not tell her, that her boyfriend has impregnated, a-whole-nother woman.
If your boyfriend still can’t understand your point of view, I think you should start questioning his morality too, (cus he sounds trash) – How is he asking you to help hide a whole ass pregnant woman??
Hey Oloni. Silly question cause I probably know what the right thing to do in this situation is however I’ve recently started talking to a guy I’ve known for a few years. We get along really great as friends, he’s literally become my best friend and I’m able to talk to him literally about anything. We’ve been out on several dates & sometimes just quick outings as friends but I feel like sometimes it’s more than just a friendship. I did eventually bring this up to him as I am interested in a relationship however it’s not the be all or end all for me but he’s told me he’s not ready for one. This obvs hurt my feelings a bit so I tried to distance myself from him just to keep our friendship & not start to behave bitter about not being his gf but he puts in 10000% with me even down to the littlest things which I’ve noticed he doesn’t do with other people. Part of me is telling me to leave the situation alone as he’s voiced what it is but the other part of me feels/sees something different to what he’s telling me. I think we have an amazing friendship which I don’t wanna ruin however I really wanna see where this can take us over time. Sorry I know it’s really long basically I just need advice on whether I’m making a complete fool of myself, which I probs am lol. Thanks!x – Anonymous
Hey hun, I know it’s hard because his actions aren’t matching up with his words, but from what you’ve described it sounds like he doesn’t want the full responsibility of having a girlfriend. So it’s not that he doesn’t like you, he just doesn’t see himself in a relationship with you, which isn’t good enough.
You have two choices, you can either settle and hang on to this half hearted love, or you try to distance yourself even more before your feelings grow even stronger.
