5 Women Who Confess To Why They Cheated

For the past couple of months I’ve been visiting universities and hosting sex and relationship debates. The first question I always start off with as a quick ice breaker is, ‘Who cheats more, men or women?’. You’ll always get the couple of people who will yell from the top of their lungs ‘WOMEN’. Adamant, that women cheat more and are just sneakier about it. Now, it’s no secret that women cheat, so I asked a few women to send me their confessions as to why they did. Read 5 of them below.

Lana, 25.
‘Yes I’ve cheated on my boyfriend we have been together for two years now and at the beginning of the relationship I was a virgin and tried my best to keep myself pure he never really understood this but promised not to have sex with me until I was ready. After some time I felt that the love and trust we built for each was strong enough so I decided to have sex with him. I thought this made our relationship a lot stronger but he actually admitted to cheating on me earlier on in the relationship. I broke things off and said I would never get back with him again, but he was my first love and I was going through a lot of personal issues. He was fully devoted the second time round and he had changed into the person I wanted him to be but I don’t know why I didn’t love him the same or even more.  I found interest in other guys and actually slept with someone else while we were together. I felt guilty but not guilty enough because I continued my affair with the other person and also had to keep my boyfriend a secret from him. To this day my boyfriend doesn’t know I’m still doing this.’

Remi, 23
‘I’ve always been the type of girl to fall in love and give my all to the guy that I’m with. I love with all my heart and have always been faithful 100%. That all changed with my last boyfriend. We were together for 4 years and for the first 3 years I was faithful but I had my doubts about him. He was abusive physically and verbally so I never questioned him in any way for fear of being hit or punished. We’d moved to the country side and he had isolated me from my friends and family so he could brain wash, manipulate and abuse me further. He cheated in our fourth year of being together and I forgave him because I felt I had no choice. I bumped into one of my ex’s who’d recently moved into the small town while shopping and that’s when the affair started. He showed me the love and care that I needed at the right time. I felt valid and strong. I cheated and I don’t regret it one bit because it gave me the strength to leave. It gave me my power back and the day I finally left I didn’t leave for the guy I cheated with I left for me. I don’t care what anyone has to say about me because I did it for me and I’m happy with the decision I made. I’m engaged to the guy I cheated with and we have a baby on the way. I’m by no means telling you to go out and cheat, I’m just telling my story.’

Anita, 21
‘My boyfriend and I were having really difficult times – I had found out that he was talking to girls as if he was single and inviting them to see him, but decided to forgive him. However I travelled over the Christmas break and things continued to be strained, I would call him and he would tell me he was busy. I would Whatsapp him and get delayed replies. It just seemed like he was so uninterested, meanwhile there was another guy who was giving me the attention and making an effort, taking me out and checking up on me. We kissed and that was all but I honestly don’t regret it.’

Sophie, 28
‘I was 24 when I cheated. If I’m completely honest I probably might have carried on if I never got caught. My boyfriend at the time was honestly crap in bed. It’s harsh but it’s true. I had two years of whack sex and enough was enough. So I cheated with two different guys who I had slept with before me and him got together, and knew how to lay down that pipe. I stayed because due to him being a mediocre lay, he was a good person, he was smart, intelligent and took care of me. Good care of me. He found out after he saw a used condom at the foot of my bed. We don’t speak any more and I heard he recently got married.’

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Amarachi, 22
‘Okay, like three years ago I got in a relationship with someone I didn’t like ( I always start off not liking them then I grow to like them). He invited me to go clubbing, it was his best friends birthday. It was there I met his best friends brother, now I’m the kind of person when I like someone I’ll definitely chase after them and make them mine (sounds bad because I was already in a relationship)…so after that night you know when you go out with someone you have fun then the next day you add them as a friend on social media, yeah that’s what I did. Anyway I messaged him and basically made him want me. After a week of messaging he invited me over to his and I went, we had sex then he told me he didn’t like it and that I was too quick and he wanted to teach me how he likes it… He was like 35 and I was 19 at the time…I like my grown men but I didn’t know he was that old because he didn’t look it and some Nigerians lie about their age (it was all kind of like 50 shades he did things and tortured and I obeyed) he basically made me the sex freak I am today. Anyway the cheating went on for 8 months but I didn’t feel bad about what I was doing because my boyfriend was always busy and then when he wasn’t busy he had to travel or he would rather hang out with his female friends… Me and my boyfriend broke up because I couldn’t carry on with just seeing him once a week and I broke things off with the guy I cheated on because he started threatening every guy I would talk to.’

According to research ‘Men stay ahead in the likely to cheat scales. 57% have admitted to cheating in a relationship, however women aren’t too far off, as 53% have had an affair and 23% had cheated on more than partner’.

It’s clear that most of the women who sent me their confessions didn’t really regret what they did. Some were clearly emotionally involved before things turned physical. They felt neglected and decided to get the attention they wanted elsewhere. But it still makes me ask the question, ‘Why did you stay, if you weren’t happy?’. There are so many men out there who are ready to give you the attention, love, sex and time that you yearn for. So instead of wasting your time with someone who no longer makes you happy, why not spend time to find happiness instead? I’ve personally never been a fan of cheating, but is it weird that when I read the entries I actually sympathised for one of the the women? (Remi, 23) – Cheating is unacceptable, but is it ever understandable? Tweet me your thoughts over @Oloni

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