5 Ways To Ruin a Relationship Before It Starts
Those feelings are all too familiar. The rapid heartbeat, the uneven breath, the hesitation and butterflies in your stomach, as you slowly approach this beautiful unidentified figure before you. In your eyes this person may be a treasure chest just waiting to be explored, but in your mind, this may very well be a pursuit that was doomed from the very beginning.
It takes a lot of guts to take the initiative and make the first move on anything, especially a new relationship. It’s terrifying. It’s electrifying. It’s confusing. It’s unexplainable, and that is understandable.
We all have fears, doubts and hesitations when we are approaching the unknown. Some of those feelings can be so overpowering that we tend to back peddle and avoid what is right in front of us. We allow these feelings to make us our own worst enemies, and as a result, we end up sabotaging ourselves. We put happiness, our opportunities and all of the good things that are meant to be in our lives in jeopardy, and sometimes we are so caught up in the dark cloud in our own minds, that we are completely unaware of these negative habits.
Well, before you proceed to self-sabotage once more, here are 6 ways that you can ruin something good before it even occurs.
You self-doubt.
Sometimes you get so hooked on the painful areas of your life or your own negative thoughts that you literally make yourself believe that we are not worthy. You deflect every potentially good thing coming into your life, especially relationships, because you believe it’s simply too good to be true or too good to be happening to you. That, my friend, is the power of doubt.
Doubt is one the most inescapable feelings in the world. Everyone has doubt, from the man who has everything in his life to the man who has nothing but the shirt on his back, but it is a matter of how you deal with it that tells the tale of your own success in the areas of your life. If you do not believe in yourself or your future with someone, then it will create the current that surges in, ultimately leading to failure.
You don’t want to catch or show feelings.
In every relationship, there will be feelings: feelings of excitement, fear, frustration, sadness, pain and the list goes on. As funny as it sounds, feelings are a scary feeling to feel. No one likes allowing their feelings to place them in a vulnerable or emotionally inescapable position, but as humans, it is expected. You have every right to feel, and although society may imply that you shouldn’t, depending on your gender or culture, you have every right to express them. Suppressing your emotions can be a prime example of pride, and that doesn’t do anything but bring you guilt in the end. If you want to say “I love you,” say it. If you want to say “I need you in my life,” say it. If you know that you care, show it. Life is too short to hide behind pride or fear of what others may think.
You’re afraid to take risks.
It’s natural that many of us have a certain type of woman or man that we are looking for, and sometimes we instantly reject a potential partner that doesn’t quite fit the bill. It may be that you were searching for someone tall, dark, handsome and funny, but instead, someone short, blonde, curvy and humor-impaired approached you. By failing to take a risk by simply just giving someone outside of your standards a chance, you prevent yourself from actually experiencing something potentially good.
You assume the worst.
Some of us, myself included, tend to have pessimistic attitudes towards everything in life. We unconsciously or purposely bypass the potential good and seek the bad in every new situation, weighing all of the possible ways to avoid them. Well, I’m here to tell you that pessimism is the killer of dreams, self-esteems and success, and ultimately, it will be the death of your potential relationships. Thinking the worst in someone or accepting any opportunity with a negative mindset will only lead you to sabotage yourself.
You dwell on the past.
It is literally impossible to walk forward while looking back. It’s inevitable that you’ll trip over and fall, hurting yourself or an innocent bystander. Think that’s bad? Well, think of that scenario on wheels instead of foot. It’s understandable that you have been hurt tremendously or repeatedly in your life, as we all have been, but there is a point in your life that you have to just let go of your pain and forgive. Holding onto bad energy and old baggage is not only unhealthy for you, but it is also unhealthy and unfair to your potential relationships.
By Simone Robinson
Instagram @primebutterfly
Twitter @simonesrobins
