9 Things You Never Talk About On A First Date
Going on first dates can be scary, especially as some people act like they’re job interviews. When you’re simply meeting up with someone you’d like to get to know more. What do I wear? What lipstick won’t have me eating like a Kardashian who doesn’t want to smudge her lipstick? ‘OMG what if we run out of things to talk about?’.
Instead of feeling relaxed what tends to happen from time to time is the awkward silence. The type of silence that forces you to say the wrong thing. So what have I gone ahead and done for you? I’ve decided to compile a list of 9 things you just don’t ever talk about or DO and also listed things you can say instead if you feel like you’ve run out of things to discuss.
1.Never talk about past relationships. It’s too soon and chances are you won’t get the real story. He’ll probably answer it something like this. ‘We just grew apart’. If he does start talking about his ex non stop to a point where he bad mouths her see that as a red flag.
2. Your sexual history. Sex is never supposed to be the topic of conversation on a first date, sometimes (most times) it gives the wrong impression. He doesn’t need to know how much you enjoy clitoral stimulation… Unless you plan on going home with him that evening.
3. The Mr Me too. No one likes a person who talks about themselves constantly, or worms every discussion back to them. Learn to listen so you can fall out of the ‘Me, myself and I’ category.
4. Don’t become a Debby Downer and full of pessimism. Sharing or your dislikes for things isn’t a great way to set things off or make a great impression. So if there’s a job you’re in that makes you unhappy, keep it to yourself or tell your girlfriends but don’t ruin the mood on your date by going on and on and on about it.
5. ‘I just can’t meet a man’ – Do not spend time telling your date, how hard you’re finding it to meet ‘good men’ or giving him the break down as to why you’re single. It’s not his business.. yet. The guy opposite you is your only focus not the last three guys who made you go dutch on your past dates.
6. Politics does not need to be spoken about when meeting romantically for the first time. It takes away from spark you’re trying to create with someone. Discussing your political views first time round will not leave space for that.
7. Talking about how many children you’d like would scare any guy. So zip it and do not start telling him all the names you’ve already picked. We want to keep him, not having him running for the hills. No baby talk!
8. What year you’d like to get married by. This is similar to number 7. You will have him sprinting if you start revealing when you want to be married. He doesn’t need to know that your magazine subscription includes Brides Magazine, or that you’ve turned on the post notification for Bella Naija on Instagram.
9. Money, money, money. Money is such a touchy one because if you’re doing well for yourself and on a high salary you don’t want to come across as cocky or enable shallow men to date you for this reason alone. Ever notice how some men use money as their best foot forward? Well if you’re anything like me, you’ll find it a huge turn off. No one enjoys a person who brags about their financial success.
Everything mentioned in the list above can easily be replaced with topics such as where they grew up, your dates favourite genre of music, the funniest experience they’ve ever been in as a kid, where they see themselves in five years. Show a genuine interest in the things your date for the evening is talking about and ask follow up questions. There are 101 things you can make a conversation out of, do it by truly getting to know them from asking about nicknames to a country they’d love to visit.
If this has helped you tweet us over at @SimplyOloni
