Remember when you were younger and you always thought about the perfect way as to how you’d lose your virginity. If you’re like me, you wanted it to be with someone special, someone who meant something. I get emails regularly from young girls always asking when they should have sex. WTF? Right, I know. Nobody, including me, can tell you what to do with your vagina.

What I did notice was the craze of girls just wanting to have sex, with no actual idea as to why. This is the part where we blame the media. Anyway, I was 18 when I lost my virginity and in a happy relationship. It wasn’t anything to brag about because any woman will tell you their first time is not the greatest, however my group of friends wanted to know the ins and the outs. If I had an orgasm, what the penetration was like etc etc. I was the second girl out of my friends at the time to have had sex and all of a sudden it felt as if there was this race to do ‘it’ amongst the remainder of my friends. But why? Just to say you’ve done it? Who would know if you hadn’t? We don’t walk around with the word ‘VIRGIN’ tatted to our forehead. Or do we? Are we now able to tell who’s a virgin and who isn’t?

A friend of mine was in such a rush to lose it, she met a guy off Facebook and had sex with him in the back of his car, after the first hook up. As crazy as it sounds, she was content with everything and just happy that she had finally had sexual intercourse. Saying that, I don’t know how she feels about it now. Fast forward six years, I wonder if she regrets it.

Women who do not have significant others are planning when they will get sexually involved with a guy. Although when you think about it, do we really need to be in a relationship before we go to such an extra mile in this day and age? Or should it matter more when it’s your first time?


From what I’ve noticed in some young women, rushing to lose your virginity doesn’t stop in your early or late teens. There are still women who are in their mid to late twenties who are probably tired of waiting. So instead sleep with the guy who’s what you could say the “most relevant” to them. They could be dating, ‘talking’ or maybe just good friends. Sometimes women too get fed up of being the last one amongst their friends to get sexually involved with a guy. They’re not able to participate in the conversations about the embarrassing one night stands, the sweaty love making, eyes rolling… You get my point. However, that doesn’t change the fact that there are still some women who are proud to have held on to their purity, despite the pressure they may have faced all the way into their late 20’s.
I’ve always felt that, with sex being such an easy thing to get, it had to slowly lost it’s value, but what about the importance of a woman’s first time, has that too?

What are your thoughts? Join in the conversation by tweeting me, followed by the hashtag #Virginity.

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Dami Olonisakin

Dami Olonisakin

Editor-In-Chief and Founder of Simply Oloni.

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