SEXSEX & RELATIONSHIPS

Interracial Sex

A week ago I was on a training programme in Birmingham and was integrated with people of different ages and ethnicities. The conversations we had were expansive and thought-provoking and saw us exploring the nuances between the existing cultures in today’s society. We were asking each other questions about the stereotypes of different races and whether or not we’d bring someone of another race home.

The topic of sex and relationships came up, which was when one of the white guys randomly told me he’d love to date a black woman as he finds them sexually attractive (I can’t wait till he reads this). He went into detail about how he’d love to sleep with a girl from an African/Caribbean background, but has been intimidated by all the ones he had met in Birmingham. Too intimidated to make any sort of move on them.

This was when I posed the question: “Would you marry a black girl?”

After a few giggles and a moment of silence he explained that, at this point in his life, he could only see himself marrying a white woman.

His interest was just sexual and more like a fetish, which made me wonder… “Is there an obsession with wanting to sleep with someone of another race, just to say you’ve done it? How are these obsessions embedded within us: is it a case of innocent curiosity or is there more to it than that? Do women also have this on their bucket list?” Many things started running through my mind during this exchange with him. The way I see it, unless other races have two vaginas instead of one, the sex would still be sex. However, it was interesting to listen to.

As the conversation went on, it was clear this stemmed from porn. Duh? I know right. It seems like some men still fantasise of what sex would be like if they slept with someone from another race, completely forgetting that everything they might have seen or heard doesn’t always happen in exactly that way.

I once read a blog about an oriental woman who was mad that her sexual partner kept making her watch interracial porn and role playing everything that was seen. The blogger explained that, to some white and black men, Asian women were supposed to be seen as ‘submissive whores’ in bed. This was probably due to how some Asian women in porn respond by forcing the sexual simulation, which would turn on the man, perpetuating these unrealistic expectations and fantasies men watching these interracial porn clips have when it comes to bedroom performance.

Even when writing this post, I googled the word “Interracial Sex” and what did I get? Pages and pages of PornHub and XVideoes greatest clips. I myself should have known better but I was looking for articles on this topic and got the total opposite.

With the confusion of “Porn vs. Real Sex”, there are still other things that are also misconstrued when the the subject of sex arises, like the average size of a penis and the noise a woman may make if she orgasms etc.

Are we obsessed with what we see as a whole in porn? Or do some of us try things out of our comfort zones to see whether we might like it or not? You can’t really have an opinion on something you have never tried, regardless if it’s a fetish or not.

After all, what’s that popular saying? “Once you go black, you never..” Yeah, that.

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Dami Olonisakin

Dami Olonisakin

Editor-In-Chief and Founder of Simply Oloni.

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