Fetishes…To Be Spanked Or Not?

The first man I met with a fetish freaked me out for years, but as I’ve grown up and met people and had conversations, I’ve realised that people are as diverse in their sex life as they are in normal life and this does not mean they are any different than the next person. For many people, their bedroom antics are a break from their normal daily life.

There are obviously some absolutely crazy fetishes, like water sports which involve bodily fluids and other things but most are pretty harmless and can be really fun if done with the right person. To divulge your inner most needs in the bedroom to another person takes courage because not everyone is accepting of everything and not everything is appealing to everybody. And most people don’t want to go against society’s idea of ‘right’ by taking part in something they really want to do or might be curious about.

There are ones that are common place, like bdsm (bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism) which comes in many different forms, from simple things like being handcuffed to more extreme methods of punishment and sexual pleasure. And the more intricate bdsm gets the more socially unacceptable it is, and also it only really seems to work when it is the woman who wants it. Things like choking and spanking are only really sexy when it’s done to the female, men are seen as the more dominant ones, so many never share their needs.

That first guy I met had wanted to be spanked in bed, which to me at that time in life was way too much to ask, wasn’t spanking only something you did to the female? What kind of straight man wanted such things in bed? In my defence it was the first time we were in bed together, so it was all too much too soon, but as time has gone by, I realise now that it took a lot of courage for him to tell me his needs and I probably shattered his trust in me by being so unsupportive. I’ve come across men and women with more common fetishes, such as toe sucking and nipple play in men to more outrageous fetishes like ass licking, people who said they would never do it and then met someone who introduced them to it and now it has become a part of their sex lives.

I think we say no to most things because we think of all the things that could go wrong, but theres nothing that a good shower won’t take care of, but I also think you should only let someone you trust into your needs, not everybody is as accepting of things as they seem. In the same breath, I say try everything, you never know when you might find that one thing that makes you have mind blowing orgasms or just something you actually like doing or done to you.

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'Books are finite, sexual encounters are finite, but the desire to read and to fuck is infinite; it surpasses our own deaths, our fears and our hopes for peace' - Roberto Bolaño

I write about sex because what else is there in life, if you cannot indulge in a little naughtiness.

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