3 Types Of One-sided Relationships You Should Avoid
“Be picky with who you invest your time in, wasted time is worse than wasted money.”
It is said that you are treated the way you allow yourself to be treated. But you and I both know that may not always be the case.
Especially in relationships.
For example, it is not uncommon to find yourself involved with someone who is not taking the relationship as seriously as you are. Although the person insists that they are serious. You can find yourself feeling unfulfilled like you have caught feelings on your own, stuck at a standstill going nowhere fast.
When you ask for reassurance he gives it to you soothingly, “Let’s just see how things go,” or, “There’s no rush.” But deep down you may be experiencing that niggling feeling in your gut that something just isn’t right. Almost like you are in a one-sided relationship. How would you know, anyway, when he acts like he wants to be with you? We have rounded up three types of one-sided relationships you should keep an eye out for:
The unbalanced one:
You are in a relationship where your emotional needs are not being met. You are left craving some level of emotional bonding and mutually shared affection even if you are being satisfied sexually. You are craving regular intimacy from someone who is detached from you even in the bedroom. There is a definite imbalance in the relationship and you feel as if you are both putting his needs first. (SUGGESTED READING: Should You Keep Dating Someone You Are Not Sexually Compatible With?)
The dream selling one:
He acts single but claims you are the only girl that they talk to. The dream seller. He insists that in time the relationship you two share will be official. But his words never correlate with his actions towards you. He seems perfect but you cannot help but wonder if there is more going on behind the scenes. If he is having inappropriate rendezvous with many other females from the same social sphere and they would not want to lose them or you by posting any incriminating photos of him with the other women he’s rotating around his finger. (SUGGESTED READING: 4 Signs You Are Timing The Title)
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He is the guy that treats you the way he does because he knows he has given you the bare minimum and you are still there. But he will always act like he’s giving you more than he actually does. He does not seem to show any real interest in your life and what you have going on. But he says all the right things at all the right times but never seems to stick to his word and promises. But the moment you have had enough and you end it he comes back begging that he will change but it never happens. He simply continues to display the same lack of enthusiasm and interest. He is the guy many women constantly run around after chasing him and helping him out, going out of their way to do favours for him, such as picking him up from work to leaving your house to go fix the tyre on his car and top up his oil when his car’s broken down in the middle of the night. If the shoe was on the other foot and you needed him, he would make excuses, ignore your calls and texts! He’s only there when you actually need him. He’s only there in your dreams.
The single but “exclusive” one:
The classic case of you being involved with a guy that wants to have his cake and eat it too. These men very rarely claim their women in public and like to keep the relationship extremely low-key with no actual intention of progressing in the relationship and making things official. You never get invited out to real social places as a couple. He is hesitant to introduce you to his friends or family members and if he does. It is very brisk and brief (a brief introduction “hi” and “bye” to his mum as you creep out of his house in the morning does not count). He will magically break up with you and may cause arguments and drama around your birthday or Christmas to avoid buying you a gift and spending time with you during holiday and celebratory seasons. There is a general lack of commitment (frequently being caught talking to and sending/receiving nudes and inappropriate messages from other women, as well as a history of cheating on you) and terrible communication as he frequently ignores your texts and disappears for days and sometimes weeks.
A person shows you how they feel about you not just through words but through actions. Sometimes it is best to move on and leave relationships like this behind and work on yourself. Focus on bettering yourself and finding your inner happiness. Relationships like these don’t always have to be negative. The positive being the lessons we learn, that we can take away and apply to future relationships. In most cases, you will be able to detect if someone’s intention with you are not genuine with more ease and you will remember to never lower your standards for somebody who is not willing to meet it.
By Ebun Hargrave
Have you ever been in a one-sided relationship? Share your experiences by tweeting us over at @SimplyOloni
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