Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book aprivate callhere
Hey Oloni, I’m in a serious dilemma. I don’t usually do this but I thought I’d give it a shot. (Disclaimer its a long one) – so I’ve been seeing this guy on and off since the end of 2012. In the beginning we were kind of friends with benefits but the reason why I say kind of was because I can’t say I have seen the “friend” part. As in we didn’t do anything normal friends do we just enjoyed the “benefits”. We would go from hotel to hotel and I would always pay everytime. I think we have been to over 15 times. After some time I got fed up and demanded he payed. He paid for two and I was back to paying. So myself and this guy would argue quite a lot and make up quite a lot then we would go back to the hotel lifestyle again. We stopped talking for a month due to our differences and rekindled by him apologising. We had another hotel rendezvous and he decided he wanted to take our “friendship” to another level. so we started going out in public to different things doing different things. A thing tht bugged me was that the bill would come and I would offer to go Dutch just to be polite and he would accept. Oloni, the bill was £25. Why are we going halves?!! Also the fact that I drive everywhere and drop him home. One time we went out to eat and I offered to pay for the meal just being polite and he accepted! Like wtf. I only offer to be polite! Anyhow I discovered I had deep feelings for this guy and told him I loved him. He didn’t really respond back lol. But recently he’s been very possessive of me saying he has me on lock and how I’m not allowed to see any other guy! But he doesn’t claim me exclusively. I met his close friends recently but now he’s saying he wants to be friends because he thinks we’re better off that way. I feel so heart broken about this I’ve invested money and effort into this dude and I don’t know what to do now, help! X
3. May 2015
There’s only one thing you can do MOVE ON. He has toyed with your emotions, I get that, but you’re still in control of your money & time, don’t waste that any longer and look for someone who’ll be more of a gentleman that you desire.
And no more paying for hotels missy!
Hi Oloni. I am in an impossible dilemma and need help. I no longer believe in the christian God or any God but my boyfriend of over a year does – hes very christian. He knows about my disbelief, and its put a big hindrance on our relationship (we’re close to breaking up). I really really love him so much and would be heartbroken seeing him with another girl, especially as he is my first love. He treats me so well too. Do you think it would be worth pretending that I believe in God again to stay with him? I just don’t know what to do. 🙁
3. May 2015
Don’t pretend to be what you’re not. It’ll only end later, rather than sooner. Him being your first love holds no weight if things aren’t working out, remember that.
Religion is such a tough one because it’s not just a faith to some, it’s also a culture.
I know it’s difficult as I can tell you love him, but if your disbelief can make you part, is love really enough?
Are seeing someone and dating someone the same thing? If not, what are the categories?
3. May 2015
Theyre quite similar. You can see someone without going out & actually dating. I find that people who are ‘seeing’ someone are more likely to just be sleeping with that person.
People who are dating are actually getting to know each other by spending time together with hopes it could possibly turn into something more.
I was dating a guy who’s bisexual, we were never officially in a relationship but we’d established that we were dating exclusively. He recently decided that he doesn’t want to date anymore but he still wants me in his life and wants to be friends. He said he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with anyone. I recently went to a party and he came with a guy who he told me had made advances to him in the past. I ignored him & didn’t speak to him because I think he was dishonest about his reasons of not wanting to date and it being more that I am female rather than the relationship itself. (Neither of these guys are out btw) Am I being petty for not wanting to be friends?
3. May 2015
You stopped seeing each other, being friends is not a default option.
I’ve been seeing this guy for a while and he says that he has feelings for me and I have feelings for him too. However he says that he wants to take it further but he doesn’t really like relationships and people knowing his business. I really like him but I feel like he’s wasting my time. He has other girls on the side but he says it’s not as serious as with me. I’m not sure whether I should cut off other guys. What should I do ?
3. May 2015
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