Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book aprivate callhere
Hi Oloni, I’ve just turned 20 and in my second year of uni. Before coming to uni I’d been in only relationships before coming to uni. In my first year, I went a bit crazy and started to sleep with lots of guys when I went out and felt like I couldn’t control myself (even tried to seek help). But I start to hear shit about me from other guys, so it made me think twice about my behaviour, I didn’t want a name for myself. It wasn’t until my ex ( my love of my life) came back into my life and said he wanted to give things ago again. Me being honest I tell him about all the people I had sex with since I last saw him ( it was 20 in a year) and straight up said he no longer wanted to give things ago anymore and didn’t see us ever being together in the future, so I was absolutely gutted. Since then I don’t feel like I will ever find a man that will except my past. Like I have re-evaluated my life, I don’t have the burning desire to sleep around anymore. But when I watch that BkChat series on YouTube where they talk about how ‘I won’t wife a girl with a body count higher than 9’. Makes me feel I will never find a guy who will except me even though that phase of my life is over. Will I have to lie about my body count for the rest of my life? I can’t change my past so what can I do?
6. January 2017
Hey love! There are several of women who have been in your position and at the end of the day, who you sleep with doesn’t define who you are as a person. If you’re able to sit back and reevaluate why you felt you were having a lot of sex, then to me that shows growth. Some people sleep around aimlessly without a clue, whilst others know that they simply enjoy having sex which isn’t a bad thing.
I understand in today’s society many still frown upon what a woman chooses to do with her body, but there is a guy out there who will accept you for you. Any guy who walks away from the person you are after being honest isn’t who you should want in your life.
As for sharing your past sexual partners, unless you’re having a conversation about your sexual health I wouldn’t understand why it needs to be spoken about.
Oloni
Hi Oloni!! My best friends coworker asked me to be in a threesome with her and her man. I agreed only because I really wanted to have sex with her. I haven’t had a lot of sexual partners, so she knew I was nervous. She told me to have sex with her man without her so that he could learn my body so that when she was back in town I’d be adjusted. So I had sex with him without her being there. She asked him how it was and he told her it was the best he ever had and now she won’t talk to me. The entire time we communicated together via group iMessage. So she knew everything that was said . He messaged me outside of the group message saying he wants to break up with her because the vibe between us was great and he wants to take me on a date. I don’t want him what so ever, I want her. He’s a dope guy that I’d like to have as a friend. And she’s not messaging me back because of the comment about me being his best. What should I do ? How do I explain to her I didn’t have a sinister plan to steal her man ?
6. January 2017
Eeek this is so awkward. I seriously think you should do everything you can to leave this sex triangle. It’s too messy and won’t end well for anyone involved. He’s talking about sex with you, you’re thinking about sex with her.. even though she probably feels some type of way towards you. Not worth it at all.
Oloni
I have a boyfriend but I’m having and enjoying sex with someone else. I still love my boyfriend and want to make things right. I’ve tried ending things but the other guy is all I think of. What do I do ?
6. January 2017
You need to come clean with your boyfriend and stop all of this immediately.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, so I have been in a long distance relationship with a girl in the US, Im in Germany, for over a year now. Actually since September 2015. At times we have had problems like her feeling very comfortable going days without communication or could be insensitive at times, i felt. However in terms of my dream woman this lady is everything I have ever wanted and we seemed to share these belief. We were meant to meet each other last year but our commitments at work and family and last minute interruptions meant that wasn’t feasible. However we set dates for February 2017 for her to come here for two weeks and I’ll go over in May. We had key dates in 2017 figured out. Then we had a little misunderstanding on Xmas day, over absolutely nothing. Whilst i understand why both of us were frustrated hence misunderstanding and i have tried to make her believe it’s just that. Suddenly she says she has issues, and doesn’t know if she wants to continue the relationship. She says I can do whatever I please and her will to want to continue the relationship stands at 10%. I don’t know what I did, why she feels that way etc. Apparently she doesn’t know either. I have spent the last two days literally begging and she keeps hitting me with basic one word responses, or gives me the most basic response to a question I asked. This is extremely unsettling for me, I feel like I’m losing it. I have my entire family about her and how she’s coming over and plans have been made for her arrival. At times i feel like just jumping in the ocean
4. January 2017
Oh darling, she’s breaking up with you and you have to let her, even if it doesn’t make sense. I understand you want an explanation and it’s not unfair to ask for. But to me it sounds like she’s moved on. If I were you, I’d take a break from this conundrum and give her some space.
Please take some time out to be with loved ones who care about you, I understand it must be really tough, but you will be okay. Just be patient.
Oloni
Hey Oloni, how are you? I hope you’re fine. I’m in a very sticky situation, like I don’t even know where to start with this. Ok, so long story short I had sex with my best friend (who is 18 & a female just like me. We’ve been friends for over 10 years and I don’t even know why we done what we done. We’re not lesbians, we’ve never been involved with females, we never even done so much as to even kissed each other. I’m Muslim and she’s a Christian and we’re both African so this goes against both our religions and cultures. What baffles me the most is the fact that it felt so right, she made me feel amazing and even now I’m craving her touch. This fully excites me because no one would know what we’re up to when she visits. Like, she’s slept over at my house 4 times in the past week and we’ve had sex until the early hours of the morning. I know this is wrong but I don’t know if I should stop this.
4. January 2017
Hey hun, you did what you did, because it felt exciting and personally I feel like you both wanted to explore your sexuality. Why don’t have a conversation about the experience and ask how she felt about it.
This is very normal btw so don’t think about it too deeply lots of women do this and it’s either see it as an experiment or a journey.
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