Romance In My Language
To be honest, I do not see why we have to separate the two but, according to a close male friend, I’m stuck in some kind of romance novel because I believe that all relationships can have a movie like feel to it. Whatever, shoot me – I’m a romantic!
He says women have unrealistic expectations when it comes to dating and romance. My question is, is it unrealistic to expect romance in this generation? To be wined and dined from time to time? Is it too much to expect a man to pull out my chair and open doors for me? Has Hollywood filled us with a false idea of how men should treat women?
My friend always says that he prefers older women because they’ve been through some things in life that have most likely altered their opinion on relationships – he used the term ‘realistic’ when describing their expectations.
To me, that just sounds like he prefers women who have been let down and had their dreams knocked around a little so now they believe that what they really want isn’t out there. Almost like, dare I say it, settling.
I’m not saying I’m expecting Richard Gear to hang out the back of a limousine holding a bouquet of flowers in his mouth shouting out my name and beckoning me to pop my head out of my New York apartment window so that he can declare his love for me…… (one of my favourite movies of all time if you hadn’t already noticed).
I do understand that romance is subjective. To some it could mean the consistency of monthly pizza and movie nights, frequent ‘good morning beautiful’ messages, or maybe small random gifts that lets them know they were thought of. However, consider with me the possibility of romance now going beyond how it is perceived personally and being dictated by what we see online. Is our perception of ‘real love’ or a ‘real relationship’ fuelled by the numerous couple pics we see on social media websites with the caption ‘relationship like this’ or ‘relationship goals’?
We are bombarded with images of men flaunting their women on sites like Instagram wearing matching shoes, which probably costs the average person their weekly wage to obtain. Or romantic holidays on what looks like their own secluded private-island. Then we look to our left to see our partners beside us, half asleep after catching a movie on Orange Wednesday and think…’this can’t be life’.
If our partners or our relationships fall short of what our current society deem as a ‘loving relationship’, do we drop it all and go in search of what we see? What if what we see is all just a façade? What if all the next person has to offer are a couple of pictures of the both of you on Instagram and a few lacklustre dates that bare no relevance to the things either of you enjoy? But it’s ok – because it makes us look like the perfect couple.
Are we just grasping for the wind?
I’ll be the first to put my hand up and admit that I like following people who put their relationship all over the internet. I don’t know if I would personally, but it’s nice to see the trips, gifts and random moments. It’s cute and honestly, what woman doesn’t want a man who is not afraid to flaunt her all over the place? Social media allows people to make their lives seem so perfect, that it’s hard to believe that it’s not – in reality, whose life is perfect? Better yet, whose relationship is perfect?
A friend of mine gave me a call a few months back complaining about her new relationship. She was so excited to finally be in a stable relationship, but soon after her reality and fantasy clashed.
“I look at pictures I see of couples enjoying themselves, going on dates and doing fun stuff. That’s the type of relationship I want. This is just… boring.”
She could have very well wanted those things for herself. Maybe it wasn’t simply about what she saw online but the reference made to the pictures jumped out at me. Could we be robbing ourselves of genuine love by overlooking a quiet guy who isn’t a fan of having his business out on the streets?
How easy it is to get caught up in the culture so much so that we lose sight of who we really are and simply move with the times and allow society to dictate something so personal as our love lives. Do we lust after what others have while overlooking what it is we really want and need?
I do not see a problem with wanting/expecting romance in a relationship, but let romance be in your language between the two of you, expressed in a way that is perfect for two hearts that want the same thing and not because everyone else has it.
I’m almost fighting myself as I write this because in some way, I do agree with my friend when he says that a lot of emotionally driven women are walking around with unrealistic expectations of the opposite sex.
But with that said, am I wrong for wanting Romance in my language?
