Funny Sex Toy Stories
I remember how old I was when I first bought a rabbit (God I hope my mother isn’t reading this) I was around 19. The look on my friends faces when I showed them what I purchased online was even more priceless. Years later and after working in a sex shop, I still find dildos, vibrators and rabbits interesting. It allows you to be sexually free without the feeling of being emotionally tied down to someone who you know you shouldn’t be having sex with. It also spices things up between couples who enjoy using toys, such as cock rings or jiggle balls.
I asked a few women to share some of their funny and embarrasing stories with me, but I think it’s only fair to start with mine.
I was in my first year of university and made the silliest mistake of living with a family and renting a room as a lodger. After a few nights spent there I decided to get my friendly toy out only forgetting to put it away right after. The next morning my landlady knocked on my door and saw it on my bed. The best way to describe how I felt? Mortified.Welp.
‘I was doing my thing, you know trying to reach that high point of pleasure and my mum walks into my room asking me for something. My bottom half was under my sheets, so I immediately covered the rest of my body pretending to be asleep till she walked out. I’ve never been so scared. I was careful from then on.’ – Anon
‘My little sister found my vibrator once and picked it up saying “What is this? I thought it was a torch, but it’s not giving any light” Whoops’ -Anon
‘The internet for our house was being installed but I wasn’t aware it would be getting put in my room. I left the technician to do his thing and heard one loud thud 3 minutes later. My box of pleasure dropped from the top of my dresser. It was raining bullets, anal beads and dildos.’– Cherise, 22
‘I have a mini vibrator and my 7-year-old brother saw it and asked what it was, so I told him it was a pen. Not long after my boyfriend and I had used it, I forgot to clean it and brought it back home. The next time I saw it, my brother had it in his mouth.’ – Anon
‘My bedroom is downstairs like an extension and I forgot to put my rabbit back in my draw and my mum had her friends over sat in the back garden. She knocked on my door and said “Kay can you move that? Everyone can see”’ – Kayley, 21.
Have you got any funny sex toy stories? Tweet us them @SimplyOloni
