#AskOloni Three’s A Crowd

Your favourite sex and relationship agony aunt

Pride Magazine

Disclaimer: All dilemmas have been sent from real women and taken from www.simplyoloni.com/ask but answered in this feature in more detail.

Gym Buddy

Hi Oloni, I’m in my early twenties and I have a girlfriend. We work in different parts of England and we often go a couple of months without seeing each other. Recently I’ve been noticing a female who goes to my gym. We so occasionally flirt, but I love my girlfriend. I am starting to have lustful thoughts about this woman as she is very attractive what do I do? The said woman has also asked when I’ll be visiting her. I’ve always declined but temptation is getting stronger.

Being in a long distance relationship can be great for some couples as it’s commonly known to make the heart grow fonder. It’s important to understand that temptation will always be around. There will always be legs, hips, lips, curves everywhere. If it’s not the lady in the gym, it could be the person you see every morning on the 9am train. It’s okay to have lustful thoughts we all do, they are fantasies and very natural. However remember not all fantasies must become a reality. Try visiting your partner more when both of you aren’t working, that should help remind you of what you have before you do something you may later regret.

The Family Portrait

Hey Oloni my fiancé and I have been together for two years but he has a 4-year-old-child with his ex girlfriend. The first year we dated his son had a birthday party, I really wanted to attend but he explained his son’s mother wasn’t cool with it. I understood and you could say I “stayed in my lane”. A few weeks ago they planned their child’s 4th birthday party and he explained there was no way I could not be able to attend, but on the day she let him know that I was not invited. I have no ill feelings towards the mother of his child or their kid. What do I do?

He’s in the wrong for allowing her to continuously treat you this way. If there isn’t a problem between the two of you, it’s his job is to step up to the plate and make sure he fights your corner. You’re not a random lady, you’re about to become a part of his family.  Talk to him about it and let him know, what you will not stand for. You shouldn’t be excluded from family events as important as his child’s birthday.

Three’s A Crowd.

My boyfriend is talking to a girl that contributed to the reason for our previous breakup and I’ve told him how I feel about it and that I rather he never spoke to her. Am I wrong for expressing my views to him?

It is a reasonable request. If this makes you uncomfortable then you’re right for asking him to cut off all communication with her. Your relationship will not be able to progress properly if he is still speaking to someone who played a part in your last break up. Express your issue clearly on the matter again to him. However, if he chooses not to comply there is a chance that something is going on or she may be a second option in case things do not work out between the two of you.