The Serial Dating Mini Manual
Since the beginning of the year, the dating scene and I have become very good friends. I have always been the kind of girl that
couldn’t stand wasn’t particularly fond of the idea of being single, which for a long time was okay; because I wasn’t. When I was first let loose in the zoo of the dating kingdom it seemed to be mating season, people were definitely out for something and you couldn’t get away from it. I had gone from the palace of monogamy, to the pits of down town hedonism. It was the road of good intentions that lead to serial dating hell and the trap was almost inescapable. Something you don’t realise when you’re taken and social media proud about it, is that lurking in the darkness of your long awaited break up, are the men or women longing for a piece of the pie.
Here at Simply Oloni we are going to help guide you out of becoming a serial dater. In the short term it seems like a bundle of fun, but in the long term it can end in a lot of broken hearts and a diminished reputation.
There are a few tell tale signs that you may be the kind of person who is inclined to serial date:
– You are a commitment phobe.
If you have a history of running at the first sign of ‘label’ then you might be one to watch.
Commitment phobe’s make great serial daters; you want the company, but you need a reason to not make it too serious. What better way to prevent getting into any kind of commitment than having another 3 or 4 ‘romantic bonds’ under your belt. Ah the life of the undecided.
– You can’t stand the thought of being alone.
It’s no secret rule, that you’re not going to marry everyone you’ve ever dated. This risk, or idea of the unknown, puts the kind of people who can’t stand rejection on edge. Some see that there is only one way to combat this fear; serial dating. The key here is that by dating more than one person at a time, you will never actually be alone, Mark might drop you tonight, but so what – call Steve.
– You just can’t make up your mind.
Being thrown into the dating pool in this day and age is tough. There are a lot of very beautiful, very funny and very successful people out there; so much so that if you are hit with an abundance of interest sometimes it’s just too difficult to choose the perfect match. What better way to explore this than to date them all and see who comes out on top after some serious below surface investigation.
It is likely that at some point in your life there will come a time where you find yourself in a sticky situation for any one of these reasons. I have fondly named it a ‘Marilyn Moment’. There are things you need to be wary of, serial dating can be a great exploration of what you need or want from a serious relationship, until you forget what it feels like to be single. You can get so caught up in being in such high demand, that you find yourself up in your bed until 3 AM, in a constant stream of consecutive FaceTime calls. The point is, no matter how harmless you think it is, there are some things you need to seriously avoid, see it as a; ‘Dummies Guide to Serial Dating’:
1) Don’t do any meet and greets
When you’re dating more than one person, meeting friends and family is a no-no. Once you meet someone’s friends and family, it’s very hard to back track. You are, at this point, officially a part of their life, a part of their life everyone is aware of. Not only will you totally embarrass the both of you when it turns out it was all a facade, you’ll piss off a whole lot of people. Meeting people close to them is the level before serious commitment and that’s what you were trying to avoid isn’t it?
2) Avoid the ‘what are we?’ conversation.
This probably goes without saying, but the second you start talking about feelings you start lying. Chances are, you won’t find yourself able to be honest and say you’re not after anything serious, so instead you’ll dance around the subject:
“Umm nows not a good time”
“I want to get to know you more”
“We’re just not ‘there’ you know”
3) Stay away from sex
Mainly for your own health and the health of everyone else! Even when you’re practicing safe sex there are diseases you can catch and it isn’t worth putting yourself or anyone else in danger. I’m also not sure your conscience could take it. Once you get into a sexual relationship with someone it’s difficult to leave and you don’t need that with more than one person at a time!
4) Steer clear of pet names!
The second you get in to using the words or being called ‘baby’ or other terms of endearment or ownership you’re too far in the maze to find your way out without A LOT of drama!
5) No paps please and No social media.
The last thing you need when you’re out with Jack is Colban tweeting a picture with you captioned: ‘Great night with bae yesterday.’ No. Nice idea, but no. Don’t start cuddling up for pictures and definitely make sure your social media relationship is limited. Remember that when you’re ‘dating’ someone you’re still getting to know them, people use social media to validate their relationship and if you seem distant, have no doubts, people will be snapping you in your sleep.
Or I guess just, stay honest or stay single.
Yours, Luna X