RELATIONSHIP READSSEX & RELATIONSHIPS

The Pros And Cons Of Confessing That You Cheated On Him

Some people say women cheat better than men, while others may think that the fact that we are emotional creatures hinders us from being able to do so without letting our emotions get the better of us. This is a topic that has been heavily debated but at the end of the day, it truly does depend on the individual and the situation that led to the infidelity. People cheat differently and different situations trigger emotions in different people. Sometimes our girls don’t even catch a whiff of what we have been doing behind closed doors. There are males and females who are just able to cheat smoothly without any lumps giving things away. But occasionally a very smooth surface can become a slippery hazard if you are unable to withstand the heaviness of your indiscretion on your heart, causing you to trip up on yourself. You might be questioning whether you should tell your partner the truth. Here are some pros and cons to assist you in making your decision.

 

 

Pro:

You want your relationship to be built on the truth. You made a mistake and it’s better that you tell him before he finds out on his own or you get caught. You have decided to whip the plaster off and deal with the aftershock of the bomb you are about to drop on your relationship. Besides, you would hate to be lied to or deceived so no matter how much it may sting, you know you are doing the right thing. There are so many things that may be deterring you from just being honest but you know you owe your partner that much.

 

Con:

Is it wrong that you are trying to make things right without addressing the fact that you cheated? If you were to tell him the truth it would ruin everything. As selfish as it may seem you were also thinking of your partner when you made this decision, and how much the both of you have invested in a relationship that could be erased in the moment your partner finds out what you are hiding. You know you are never going to do it again so why would you bring it up?

 

Pro:

You don’t have to deal with the paranoia of him finding out or accidently blowing your own cover. You cannot get rid of a guilty conscience but if you come clean it will not pester you as much.

 

Con:

However, even if you told the truth you could still end up feeling paranoid like you are constantly walking on eggshells with your partner and wondering whether they have truly forgiven you. If they do decide to forgive you, that is. Your suspicions were right telling the truth did more harm than good and no matter how many times you display how remorseful you are for what you did your partner remains unconvinced proving to you that coming clean just isn’t worth the stress.

 

Pro:

You love him enough to be real with him, maybe even discuss the reasons that led to you cheating. It allows you to also be honest with yourself. Are you really ready for a relationship? Did you cheat because you felt neglected? Did you do it out of boredom? You have prepared yourself as you know it is not going to be an easy conversation but you are ready to deal with the consequences of your actions and it could present the opportunity for the two of you to become closer with time.

 

Con:

You love him enough to not want to hurt him any more than you already have. You may have been unfaithful before and the relationship might not be able to be salvaged this time around meaning you could lose your partner for good.

 

Pro:

You may not see it at first but it could strengthen the trust in your relationship. There is no avoiding the fact that you are going to hurt him. But coming clean eliminates the possibility of him finding out the truth by himself later on. It makes your partner more likely to hear you out and believe you when you apologise. Because who would believe someone who could hide their infidelity for all this time, what else could you be hiding? How would he know you are not still cheating or that you are not only apologising because you got caught?

 

Con:

The foundation of trust the two of you have built might never be the same. No matter how many times you have apologised and tried to show how committed you are. All the attempts you make to bring the two of you closer seems to have the opposite effect. It might have you considering whether ignorance is in fact bliss?

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Paige Vahla

Paige Vahla

Simply Oloni's Sex & Relationships Editor. I'm either writing or thinking about what to write next.

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