The Pros And Cons Of Addressing Sexual Tension Between You And Your Male Best Friend

“He’s just a friend.”

The four words that seem to have several different meanings to some of the people who have heard you say this. It means everything but what you actually meant – he’s just a friend. You have had people put two and two together and get six while trying to fill in blanks that are not there and attempt to conjure this “sexual tension” that is also not there. It can be frustrating when you are close to a male and people just can’t seem to get their head around the fact that the two of you are friends and nothing more.

We already know that answering the age-old question of whether men and women can really just have a platonic friendship is not easy since every individual experience befriending people of the opposite sex is different. So when sexual tension does actually form between yourself and your male best friend it can be an unexpected turn of events, the intensity of the feelings surprising you and now, “he’s just a friend,” has turned into, “Is he just a friend?”

At some point, you may also find yourself wondering whether you should just address the sexual tension to your male friend or not. It definitely has its pros and cons (SUGGESTED READING: The Pros And Cons Of Having Sex With An Ex) let’s have a look at some:



It gets everything out in the open. The importance of communication in any relationship is undeniable so if you feel like there has been a shift in your friendship it’s a good idea to address it and take it from there.


Addressing the situation may cause things to become awkward between the two of you. The dynamics of the relationship may change in a way you may not be ready for.



Or you might be ready for the change and it could be your chance to get a few things off your chest. It also allows you to find out how your friend feels about things.


You might not be too good at dealing with sexual tension maybe you fear that the both of you will give in to it if you bring it up and you do not want to ruin the friendship so you feel that it is better to ignore it. Or maybe the both of you have done something in the past, decided to never speak of it and you are not willing to stumble back down memory lane. You like the place the two of you are at now and you feel speaking up on the tension will simply cause unnecessary complications.



Complications are not guaranteed and it could be a smooth and easy transition from friends to something much more. But if that’s not what you want addressing the tension could be a good way of making a smooth u-turn back to the friend zone.


However on the flipside addressing the tension does not actually mean that it will go anywhere. You might not make a u-turn. You could find yourself wedged in an uncomfortable space between friends and being much more not knowing what your next move should be.


The conversation can strengthen your friendship by reminding you just how honest you two can be with one another when you are discussing subject matters that can be quite awkward and it just reminds you why the two of you are friends. The two of you can discuss it, laugh about it and then breeze right past it.


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Paige Vahla

Paige Vahla

Simply Oloni's Sex & Relationships Editor. I'm either writing or thinking about what to write next.

1 Comment

  1. Wisdom
    December 9, 2016 at 1:21 pm — Reply

    In my case, I have felt so different about her for seven years now. We grew up together and every single day I have fallen deeply for her.. I am so much in love with her that I just can’t help it anymore….

    But I just haven’t been able to tell her all this years, whenever we jokingly talk about me loving her forever and we being a couple, she sounds like it’s one big abomination saying I’m like a brother to her and it breaks my heart..

    I have watched her come out of serveral relationships with her heart broken. She is my best friend and I fear telling her how I feel about her will spoil whatever we have and I may just end up losing her. That will break my hrt even more.

    Recently we talked about it and I kinda told her how I felt about her all this years, she sounded surprised but was calm. We are still cool though but we both promise to keep whatever feelings aside.

    I’m not good with that bcos I really want more but I don’t want to lose her totally.. please what do I do?

    She just met a guy about a month ago and seem so excited, I die of jealousy everyday. I’m confused….

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