Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book aprivate callhere
Hi Oloni, I hope all is well. Please forgive me, but this is a long one. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years, and I’m cheating on him with a guy I met in Dubai. Lately, things have been very different, and we have not spent time with each other frequently. Bear in mind we live in Birmingham and are 20 mins apart, but we still live at home. I have bought this up, and he says we don’t have time as we both work full-time, which is unacceptable. So I went to Dubai for NYE with the girls, and at that time, it had been some months since I and my bf had been sexually active. We just disagreed before I flew out, so I was not happy with him and met this guy who was into me and very open with his life which has been a struggle with my bf. Returning to the UK, I see my fling more than my bf. I stay at his place in London when I need to go to the office, and it has been great! I even lied to the fling that I had dumped my bf, which is mad, and now I have turned into a liar. But I appreciate the effort and the time the fling takes to spend with me. We go on regular dates, TALK, and have sex, which I lack from my bf. I have had a discussion with my bf about how I feel, and he said he would try his best to be more proactive, but I’m yet to see any changes, and I’m bored with him. I have never met any of his family, and we are both in our mid-thirties, and I don’t understand his nonchalant behaviour as we are not getting younger, and he doesn’t align with my plans anymore. I also don’t see a future with the fling, as his ex-girlfriend & mother of his twins passed away 18 months ago. He has told me in the past he has said the girls he’s been seeing that he’s not ready for a relationship, but I should give him time to heal, please 😂 which is fair because I have recently lost a brother, and there is no amount of time to get over grieving. I have even met my flings sister, brother and cousins in a short amount of time. What do I do in this situation? I love my bf, but I’m afraid that I could be settling and that he does not want to marry me or have kids as he jokingly says we should have kids and marry in our 40s. (I tell him his mad and say, GOD FORBID)
11. April 2023
We’ll answer this on Laid Bare Podcast, look out for it.
Hello oloni, I’ve been going out with my boyfriend officially for about a year now. We’ve known each other for three. In the past he has secretly lied to me about going out with friends but he went to meet his ex. He met a girl at work and told me it was a guy and saved her name as a boy name so I wouldn’t find out. I genuinely don’t trust him in the slightest and he genuinely disgust me. But I feel confused because I still care to or love him but I also want to leave but I’m also scared of what he’ll do. I just don’t know
18. March 2023
You know you need to get out of this asap. You don’t trust him and it’s understandable as to why. If you have any fears speak to close friends and family, so they’re aware if the situation. Hope you leave hun
Oloni
Hi Oloni, I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years and I have been living with him since august last year. In December of last year, I found out that he has been cheating on me with several girls. He brings them home when I go to work and makes me wait extra hours after work because “ his guys are around”. I’ve confronted him about it and he apologized and begged me but it’s really so hard for me to get the fact that he cheated but I am finding it more difficult to break up with him because I love him a lot. Please how can I breakup with him and what can I do to heal?
28. February 2023
You need to get rid of him. He asks you stay at work so he can cheat MORE? Do you know how disrespectful that is? It says everything you need to know about the type of person he is and it’s certainly not one you stay committed to. Read the relationships chapter in my book. There’s a section on how to move on from a hurtful break up. Please read it and please leave.
Oloni
Hey Oloni, a few days ago my boyfriend ‘jokingly’ told me he got another girl pregnant. I dont see something like this as a joke, especially since he has cheated in the past. He says it was just a ‘joke’ because he was annoyed with me. I mentioned that due to his past cheating its a concerning thing to ‘joke’ about and he says it would never happen. im now worried that it wasnt a joke, whats your opinion?
28. February 2023
You need to have a conversation and give him a chance to be serious. Tell him this is an opportunity to be truthful before you hear it anywhere else. What kind of stupid joke is that? If it’s true you need to run. If it is false explain that he needs to switch his brain on and to learn not to be so insensitive.
Oloni
Hey Oloni, I’ve been with my partner for a few years now, we are planning to get married and everything. He’s the only man I’ve presented to my family and vice versa. Because of work, we are away of each other for awhile, I haven’t seen him for 7 months which has been very hard as we were living together and I was used to be with him all the time. Last month I went out with friends, I met this guy who was interested in me but I immediately told him I have someone, we talked for awhile about everything, and by the end I would say there was a bit of flirting with the eyes, and I blowed him a kiss when he left. I declined to give him my number or any of my social media even if he was cute and interesting. 2/3 weeks later, I saw him in another party and I was really really drunk (it is bad and it shouldn’t be an excuse I know), I started to tell him that he shouldn’t get close to girls I know and then I don’t remember much but my friend told me the only bad thing I did was me looking for him through night and talking quite a lot about him. I feel so bad because I know the way I behaved isn’t right, even if there was no kiss, number exchanged or anything. I’m not interested in the other guy at all, I think I liked the attention more than anything else. I have been told to not tell my partner anything and to learn my lessons. But I believe it is important to be honest, and at the same time I’m scared this could break his trust which means break our relationship. Do you think I should tell my man? And if yes, should I do it now that he’s abroad or first thing when he’s back?
28. February 2023
Chile, I thought you were gonna tell me you sucked a bit of dick. Please let this go.
Subscribe To Our Newsletter
Sign up to our mailing list to read our sex and relationship features first.
You have Successfully Subscribed!