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Thank you,

Hi oloni, please answer I am in two minds and it’s very urgent. My boyfriend bussed after eating my kitty, is that normal? Not that I am complaining. Anyways the real problem is, as he was eating my kitty tonight i saw his hand wonder on his back and im not too sure but I think he was playing with his ass??!! Does that mean he’s gay or what. I’ve seen his hand wonder backwards before but when I tried to run my fingers through his arm to see where it was he would push my hands back up. I do not know how to feel about this as I tried to investigate (by making him lay on his front I tried to see if his hands could reach his dick from the back) but he kept moving mad!!!!!!! Like is this normal for a man. Please answer. 24. September 2018

Your boyfriend enjoys anal play, big deal! lol. Some guys are into it, others aren’t. Why not talk to him about it and ask how it makes him feel?


Hi Oloni. Me and my boyfriend have been together for a few years and now we live together. He is my everything, we’ve been through so much and he is my best friend. He’s never been the most romantic guy, but more recently it’s like we’re just mates rather than lovers. He’s extremely selfish in the bedroom and never wants to make me cum when before, he would always. I’m the sort of person who loves affection but I even have to ask him for hugs and when I do, half the time he says he’s too busy or he’s not in the mood to be affectionate. I don’t know what to do. I love him just as much as I did when we first got together but I’m tired of feeling rejected and he always acts like I’m being sensitive or stupid. Help! 24. September 2018

Heya hun! This happens often in many relationships. It’s best to communicate that you’ve noticed a change in the relationship and in order for you to remain happy in this commitment, he has to make you feel loved.

He could be extremely too comfortable in the relationship and think it’s unnecessary or there could be someone else in the picture, who’s receiving the affection YOU desire.

Speak to him


My gf smokes too much weed and I’m worried it’s starting to affect her in other aspects of life. Yesterday she called in sick to work just to smoke and she told me she smoked 3 spliffs whic probably means it was 6. She’s become so lazy now and it’s frustrating because when I met her she was hard working and ambitious which is what made me fall for her. I wanted to build an empire with her. Black excellence. Anyway, do you have any advice on how I can go about trying to help her? Whenever I try it goes in one ear and out the other. 24. September 2018

If he she won’t change, you might have to leave and tell her this. You can’t force someone to be or do something they aren’t committed to doing/being. Also, ask her what you could possibly do to help her. It’s clear she obviously has a problem.


Hey oloni. Boy where do I start? My girls friend is always trying to flirt with me. When I told my girl she said it ain’t true and I’m definitely making it up. Then she started interrogating me. What can I do? Lol I’m definitely not lying because other people that have witnessed it said the same thing. Her and my girl have been friends since they were young and I feel like this girl takes advantage of the fact that my girl believes anything she says and does. She’s very manipulative and I often catch my girl doing too much for her. An example of this is for her birthday she wanted my girl to get her some gifts (yes gifts) that cost over £200 but she came late and empty handed to my girl’s 21’st bday dinner. Have you got any tips on how I can tell my girl that this broad isn’t really her friend. 24. September 2018

If you have any evidence of her mate flirting with you I would say save those receipts and show them to your girl. Eg messages etc. If your girlfriend isn’t clued up on how messy friend is, sadly there’s nothing you can do about it, because she’s clearly not trying to listen. You just have to let her see it for herself.


Hi Oloni, there’s one lady that goes to my gym that is honestly stunning. She looks like Meagan Good who’s been my wcw since I was in primary. I think she’s attractive and I’d like to talk to her but I understand that girls don’t really like this in the gym. I don’t want her to feel like I’m ruining her safe space in the gym l. So Oloni, my question to you is how I can go about talking to her or should I even talk to her? I’ve never seen her out of the gym so I haven’t really had the opportunity to introduce myself to her. 24. September 2018

It’s good that you recognised that not all women don’t want to be spoken to whilst they’re working out, buttt I would suggest perhaps waiting for her to finish her session then introduce yourself to her? Don’t be too full on either!


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