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Hey oloni, i had a conversation with my bestfriend , during the conversation she told me she wanted a threesome but I didn’t agree cause I am not cool with it cause I am a one man person , she agreed and we never really had that conversation, though it came up and she begged me not to chicken out of the situation but I still turned it down , till one day she invited me out to a strip club with her guy ( I suppose ) , we were having fun and then she asked me if I wanted a girl home , lol I said sure cause I’m in to girls , it felt weird so I asked what the deal was cause her guy can’t be that nice to want pay a girl to follow us home , then she told me they would watch us do our stuff , I wasn’t cool with her guy seeing me naked and all that stuff cause he ain’t my guy but I just ignored the whole thing . Leaving the strip club my friend got really drunk and when we got home , she passed out and it was just the stripper , I and the her guy . I took my shower and the babe took her shower also and you know we were about to get down and stuff , then her guy came in to our room , this was after I begged him for privacy and to stay with my friend. So he came in and all touching me and sucking my boobs then I got uncomfortable completely, so I told him that I wasn’t really cool and the situation was awkward cause I never really expected it . I told him to excuse us so I had a conversation with the stripper about the agreement, and then she told me the guy said ” he likes me and he wants her to turn me on so he would be able to get down with me ” . I got really sad and angry but I just kept going with the girl , the guy came in the room again and tried to finger me so i got super pissed and I forced a conversation, he told me my best friend is aware of the whole thing and it’s cause she’s on her period and then she’s drunk that’s why things are currently the way it is . I told him I still wasn’t cool with it cause regardless if we were going to have a threesome , I would have loved it for my friend to be present knowing we got down and all that , he was saying he wouldn’t tell her and all or that am I scared he’s going to be rrunning his mouth about what we did . I told him that I’m not bothered about what ever he says , but I gotta give some respects to my friend and even if she’s aware I better let her be involved than doing it behind her . He then told me not to talk about it to my friend and all that, that he really likes my friend and he wouldn’t do anything to hurt her , I was looking at him with soo much disgust but we agreed on him not coming to the room , so I went in , told the stripper to leave cause I needed to be by myself . When I was alone I had deep thoughts to myself, should I tell my best friend what really happened or I should not cause I’m scared it might ruin what they had to probably the guy my turn tables and lie . And secondly , I want to know if I should go ahead with the threesome eventually when my best friend and I hang out again because she has the guy already and he really likes her , and as for me ,I’m yet to getting a boyfriend or even getting a guy that likes me for me , I can’t get down with a guy I don’t like suddenly or cause it’s the sake of a threesome , I feel like I would be at a losing end. Please don’t judge me , I just need your advice on what to do as I am very confused right now . Please keep this message very anon , if she sees this on twitter she would know it’s her and it would make it worse . Help a sis oloni! 4. November 2017

All messages here are anon. The guy you’re talking about seems like he was pressuring you. Talk to your friend.


Hi oloni basically I have been dealing with a girl in a relationship since February and obviously when your in talking girls tell their friends who their talking to and stuff so I was on my girl phone on her chat with her friends and within the talking stage she was telling her friends am ugly like this girl was going on like am some troll lool her friends used to back it and say he’s not that bad and stuff anyway now we’re in October we still go out and she tells her friends she loves me and she does like this girl obbesed with man but what am asking is should I be offended with the way she used to talk about me to her friends cause I won’t lie she was actually boying it it even confuses me how loved up we are 4. November 2017

That’s so mean! Talk to her about it


I’ve been with my partner for just over 7 months, and we’ve started to get comfy with each other, whilst also keeping the intense passion of a new relationship, which ofc is fantastic. However the only issue is she’s a couple years older than me and in a hurry to get moving and has mention marriage quite a lot lately. I feel it’s a little early to be talking about this as I really want to live life and explore before settling down properly. How do I tell her that I’m not ready for marriage or to even begin those conversations yet without hurting her feelings? 4. November 2017

Telling someone you want to take things slow shouldn’t hurt anyone’s feelings. Explain what you’ve written into me.


Dear Oloni I have no clue what to do right now. I’m currently talking with this very sweet guy who shares the same interests as me and we get along like a house on fire. He has already told me how he feels about me and I feel the same too. He asked me out on a date and he was so nervous it really touched my heart. I was so happy when he finally asked and it was about the same time I was going to ask him too. The problem is that I have a friends with benefits who i see on a regular basis. The sex between us is phenomenal. He makes me cum so hard and the sex is kinky and adventurous. It’s not even just about the sex, he’s way older than me (I’m 22 and he’s 57) and we have chats about life and he gives me advice about what to do after uni, jobs, housing etc. my dilemma is that I do not know if I’m ready to leave my friends with benefits and start a relationship with someone as I don’t want to cheat. I’m so conflicted as to what to do. 4. November 2017

He asked you out on a date, he didn’t propose.


Hi Olini! I’ve been with my boyfriend officially about 10 months now. We had the conversation about becoming exclusive in November last year and then “officially” got together in December. We’d been together about 4 weeks when he found out that he was going to be a dad. Before we had become exclusive, he had gone back to a girl he was briefly seeing to get his stuff from her house, obviously things happened and she fell pregnant. He has been completely honest with me since he found out, been so respectful of my feelings and has apologised more times than I can count for the situation. The deed was done when we weren’t officially together, and we became a couple without the knowledge of the baby. I absolutely love and adore this man like I never thought was possible. He’s my one and only and I would never forgive myself if I walked away from him, but it’s really hard for me knowing he has a baby with someone else. His daughter was born in June and since then I’ve become very emotional. I can’t think about the situation without crying, and almost anything can set me off now – I wasn’t like this before. He’s made it clear to his baby mum that I am around, she’s dating someone else and has said that she’d like to meet me in the future and hopes we can be friends, so I don’t think any drama lies here for now. He’s very respectful towards me, and has always been incredibly supportive and understanding when I get upset about the situation. He’s never become angry with me even though we have the same conversations about my feelings and his daughter over and over again. I absolutely don’t want to get in the way of his relationship with his daughter, but I find it really hard to accept the situation. I’ve been with fuckboys in the past, and I can tell you for sure he isn’t one, he’s given me a promise ring, we’ve talked about moving in together in the near future, and eventually marriage, and kids and how his daughter would fit into that scenario and I really do see a future with him. It’s a hard situation to be in for me, because I love this man like nothing else, and I know that he feels the same about me. But I’ve become an emotional wreck and it’s really taking a toll on me. I don’t really know what to do. 4. November 2017

Heya hun, you’re going to have to accept the situation and learn how to cope (?) not the exact words I want to use. But if I’m honest, I’m personally not fond of men with new women in their lives after having a baby with someone else… regardless of how it happened.

However, if you’re sure that this guy is the one, you need to let him know how you’re feeling, but also understand that if you’re going to stay in this relationship.. you can’t keep tearing up over a situation that will never change. It could lead to resentment.

Have a think about your options carefully.


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