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Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymouslyPlease make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here

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Hey Oloni, so I’ve been having sex with this guy for a couple years now, on & off. It’s been a pretty casual situation. I didn’t want a relationship or anything like that with him because he’s trifling. He doesn’t have the best reputation with females and from my own personal observation/experience I can confirm this. However we have great sexual chemistry and he’s the only guy I’ve been with that makes me enjoy sex. The issue here is this guy has a gf, I’ve known this now for a while but when I asked him he denied. It’s pretty easily found out through social media though, anyways I just ignored it because to me I’m not doing anything wrong. Not trying to take her place or get between them & I was having sex with him before I knew she existed. Anyways it’s getting complicated now because I feel myself developing feelings and I don’t want to end up in an even stickier situation. Walking away would seem like the smart thing to do but it’s easier said than done ? I tried doing that before and I just ended up here again. Plus I feel like he just gets away scotch free and happy. What should I do ? 4. June 2015

There is no special answer but the obvious. Leave & stop sleeping with him. The more you continue this relationship you have together in terms of sex, the harder it will become. And unless you enjoy dealing with hard scenarios, you know what needs to be done.


Hi Oloni I was wondering if you could make this qotd as I really need all the advice I can get. I was with my ex bf for 2 years before finding out I was pregnant. He straight away told me he wanted nothing to do with me or the baby and this was 12 weeks ago. He hasn’t spoken to me since. I thought he loved me the way I loved him. I just don’t know how someone can switch off their feelings so quickly. My problem is, is that I am still so in love with him and I really want to work things out. I would actually do anything to have him back in my life. What can I say or do to reassure him that this baby will not ruin his life 4. June 2015

If he’s not comfortable with your decision, then there’s nothing you can do to make him want to be there. I understand this u turn has become a sudden shock, but right now the only person who is important in this all is the new bundle of joy you’re expecting. You need to be around those who will support you and love you. I’m sorry that you’re going through this, but someone who can treat you like this after two years is not a person who truly cares about you. He has shown you who he really is, all you have to do right now is believe him.


Me and my girl have been going out for a while now, but her ex is part of her friendship group and seems to always be there. He’s bought her a birthday present, they go same Uni so him and her other friends will come round sometimes and I’ve found his stuff there before. He sometimes text her late at night and calls her for advice. She swears that she has no feelings for him and I believe her, but she says he doesn’t either and I can’t believe that. Would I be wrong in telling her to cut him out of her life? 3. June 2015

If it bothers you, then yes you can ask her to cut off communication with her ex, despite how the friendship group is. A majority of people in a relationship would not be cool with this type of friendship their current has with an ex.


I have been with my fiancé now for 8 years and we are due to get married soon but he has this girl as a friend who I don’t trust and she acts really needed and for ever texting and calling him moaning about her single life etc , I don’t want to tell him to lock her off cause I don’t want to seem like I’m moaning but I don’t trust her at all what should I do? 3. June 2015

You talk to him & let your future husband know that you’d prefer if there were boundaries, so you can feel more comfortable.


Hi Oloni, im hoping you could help me out. I really want to find someone I can be with, however, when I try to go about just trying to get to know a guy first by just talking to them and going on dates, it never goes past 1 date. This because I am a very sexually active person, I just enjoy it to be honest. That then leads me to initiating sex very early on and thus spoiling my chances of ever being taken seriously. I can never see myself as someone who can speak to multiple guys at once but I have been thinking of just having a FWB and then trying to get to know another guy on a non sexual level. Im so confused. Im just tired of being single. Ive really tried being celibate but I just end up dropping a “hey, what you doing” text to whoever was recent. 3. June 2015

You just answered your own question whilst asking. If you enjoy having sex, that’s fine get a fwb IF you can do it being safe & not getting emotionally attached. If you’ve sensed a pattern of men who fall uninterested after you sleep with them, then perhaps slowing things down can help, especially if you have a friends with benefit.

Get to know these guys more, enjoy dating. The early days of getting to know someone should be fun, so never rush!


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