Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book aprivate callhere
Hi Oloni. I’ve been with my bf for almost 4 years and he wants to settle down and start having a family. I am all for that, but the timing is the biggest issue. I am in my 2nd year of uni and would like to finish my studies first and work for abit before havung children. He is a few years older than me, which why he wants to settle down now. He has previously admitted that if in the next 2 years max, I dont settle that he will up and leave me. I know he loves me and I love him too, but i am just not ready at this point in time. Having children right now would be a barrier in my aspirations at this point in time. What should I do Oloni? I dont know whether to just give in and have children now or wait to finish my studies/work. Part of me does want children just not now. Should I end this relationship or hope he is patient with me?
5. June 2015
You need to have a serious discussion with him. He shouldn’t expect you to pause your life goals so you can fulfil his dream.
If you’re not ready for kids etc, then you’re not. What you want does matter & is not unreasonable.
Oloni is it a bad thing I am soooo attracted to my boyfriend sexually and physically, like he turns me on soo much that everyone we see each other we do the deed( sorry if I’m sounding too vulgar) but do u think its a bad habit as we can’t chill or be together without having coitus. Also since u work in a adult store is there any tips you have for to make our intercourse more adventurous. Thanks in advance
5. June 2015
Being extremely attracted to your partner is a good thing. Some would call it passion, and you probably both have a high sex drive. Try using a cock & ball ring as you both will get stimulated from the vibrating sensation.
Hey Oloni, I’ve been sleeping with my best friend who is also my housemate. I love him but not in a way to be in a relationship with him, however I get very jealous when he brings girls to the house. What should I do?
4. June 2015
You have slight feelings for him, they’re not all the way there, but it explains why you get jealous. My answer? Stop sleeping with him & find another way to sexually pleasure yourself.
I know infidelity is wrong. And judging by the responses you often give people you don’t condone it at all. However I have been best friends with a girl mate of mine for over 4 years. In our first year of uni (I have since graduated) we got very close and were basically together. I decided to pursue my studies abroad and only moved back last year. Whilst I was away we stayed good friends and since returning have had a healthy friendship. She has had a boyfriend since not long after I left but recently she and I have both admitted that we have strong feelings for each other and the feelings have not left since first year. We both acknowledge how hard it is given her current situation but she has said she feels like what we have is “real”. And had I not left her and her man would have never got together. Given that we both “know” this is the real thing do I still talk to her and encourage her infidelity or shall I suck it up and leave? which I am also tempted to do
4. June 2015
You suck it up & leave. If she wanted to be with you, she’d leave her situation. Why waste time cheating? If she did cheat, how would you be able to take her or the relationship seriously? If you have already made each other aware about your feelings, nothing else needs/should happen till you’re both available.
my partner and I have been friends with this couple for a while. The guy has been telling my partner how much he is miserable in the relationship and that he is not happy with his Fiancée’s weight. Well he even decided to cheat on her a few weeks ago and i feel really bad that we all know but her. She is now pregnant and he was the one who told her he wanted a baby! But he still continues to tell my partner that he doesnt want to get married and that he is unhappy! They will be getting married in August! And that’s when she is due! I feel so sorry for her! What do i do? Do i just leave it alone?
4. June 2015
Sadly, you have to stay out of it. Perhaps when your other half speaks to you about the dilemma you can advise him to speak up to the woman he is supposed to be marrying. This must be a difficult position for you to be in, but there’s nothing else you can do.
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