Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book aprivate callhere
I split up with my ex who was violent with me and cheated on me with numerous girls nearly 2 years ago…I have been travelling and met hundreds of new people since but i just don’t click with anyone the same. I haven’t been with anyone since and haven’t even kissed anyone. I still love him & think of him all the time, my mum suggested counselling to get over it as she thinks I shouldn’t be with him. I don’t think I should fight my feelings and just tell him that I still love him. Ive tried to move on but I can’t. What should I do?
7. June 2015
Love can’t include a violent person on any planet dear. Listen to your mother and seek come counselling.
Hi Oloni, I need some serious advice. i was with my ex for a year and a half and we got together quite quickly. 2 weeks after meeting each other in fact. we didnt have the most perfect relationship but we got on so well and i loved him more than anything, weve been broken up over a year now and since then weve slept with each other twice, but met up three times whilst he has been with his new girlfriend. i am not over him at all and i love him more than anything but i think to myself if hes moved on why arent i moving on? the last time we slept together was on my 21st birthday in april, we booked a hotel and i know i shouldnt have knowing that he has a girlfriend but i am still so in love with him. i got ery drunk one night and messaged him telling him that i couldnt do it anymore and that i wanted him to stay away as he is usually the one who instigates these meet ups. i usually message him everytime i drunk, telling him how much i love him but after the last time (my birthday in april) i kinda just wanted it all to stop, like as much as i love him i cant keep going through and experiencing the pain that i am experiencing. i love him so much and i have done so well for the first time and not called/text him. this has been the longest weve spoken since we broke up but today he messaged me ‘yoo’ just randomly via snapchat as i have blocked his number and i dont know what to do, your advice would be great, i know i need to move on, like he has, but he sets me back and then goes off and lives his life and leaves me in a state everytime. please help xxxx
7. June 2015
I don’t have much advice, but to simply tell you to cut him off, including snapchat. He has a girlfriend and is clearly taking advantage of your feelings, the longer you waste time with such a dude, the harder it’ll be to let go.
Hi Oloni, (could you make this QOTD I need as much advice as I can get) I have been with my fiancee for four years now and she’s pregnant. We are getting married in the fall and our baby is due around the new year. We have decided that when we get married she should keep her maiden name. It is a big part of her African identity. I am from St.Lucia and she is from Senegal. However when we have kids she says she wants them to have her name only, no double barrel or anything. She is a bit of an Afrocentric and always says my name is a slave name and shouldn’t be given to our children. She is great woman and the love of my life, but my surname means a lot to my identity too.
7. June 2015
How she wants her last name kept is totally down to her. It’s a personal decision. However I really do feel like the name of your childeren shouldn’t be something to debate about. If you can’t agree on having it double barreled, you need to sit & talk. I will be making it #QOTD however.
Hey Oloni my friend is currently with a guy who is no good for her. He’s known to be a big flirt and a cheat but she’s still with him. I’ve told her bad news about him ibefore (which was proven to be true as he admitted it when confronted). I’ve recently been told more bad news but I don’t want to be that friend who’s always telling her girl about her man. Should I tell her or just stay out of it this time around?
7. June 2015
You can tell her, but don’t expect her to leave her partner if everything else you’ve shown/told her hasn’t done anything.
I’m a 25 years old guy who’s never had a girlfriend , just friends with benefit. I don’t have sex a lot but I’m addicted to porn. I’ve met a girl who I really like but it’s been hard for me lately to have sex with her because I find myself comparing her to a pornstar, therefor I don’t get excited which makes her think that I’m not attracted to her. What advice would you give me to help me deal with this situation as I really like the girl!
5. June 2015
This question is tied in with addiction and is more suitable for a therapist.
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