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Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymouslyPlease make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here

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Hi Oloni, big fan of what you do. Dilemma: I feel like I’m beginning to fall in love/deep like with my friend. I came to a conclusion the other day that the reason I fall in love so quickly is cause I’m probably not used to certain kind of people (guys) being nice to me and have found a new interest for the way certain guys are. (By falling in love quickly I been just liking someone a lot and analysing) I feel like I like everyone to be honest. My friend and I are getting closer in terms of our friendship and sharing information. I’m beginning to see him as a confidant and he’s also been saying the same. I don’t want to catch feelings or anything so how do I approach this? I want to stay away but were leaving soon and this may be the last time I see him. I don’t want to develop anything. Don’t want a relationship. I don’t want to ruin a friendship. I don’t want to catch feelings. So is removing myself from the situation(time spent alone) the best option? 10. June 2015

I think if you spend less time together things will be better and you won’t have time to catch any sort of feelings. As for falling in love easily, you have to ask yourself why that is. Are you not used to attention? Have you dates before? What’s causing you to feel this way?


Hi Oloni, I’ve been with my boyfriend since we were young. We’ve been together over 5 years now and we are at the stage where we both think we are old enough and mature enough for marriage. However, I have a few issues. I find that sometimes he’s very absent minded, sometimes I have to coach him on how to respond when I’m upset and I also have to remind him to correct his tone when speaking to me. He’s had a difficult upbringing so he finds it hard to be in tune with other people’s needs and he lacks confidence when it comes to decision making due to fear of disapproval. Over the course of our relationship, he has improved with some of the things I don’t like but as the remaining issues are only small, I’m getting frustrated because I’m thinking after all this time, he should know the basics. Honestly, overall he’s a very good guy. He’s very loyal, we love each other to pieces and we spoil each other. I’m just getting annoyed at the small issues he has because sometimes they make situations escalate into big arguments. Given all that I’ve said, my question is do you think it’s worth sticking around until he makes more progress or should I just accept he’s damaged by his past and will always be this way? I know they only seem like small issues but sometimes things get to the point where I leave home for a few days to clear my head. I need your help. 10. June 2015

I always say know matter how great a relationship is the individuals within them are never perfect. It’s impossible. Don’t look at him as damaged nor something to justify the things that may cause arguments. We all have our own story, but we can’t let it shape or define us. You have to have a serious conversation and let him know how you feel, express the things you told me and work at it together. That’s the only thing you can do.


When is the right time to ask the “what are we” question? I’ve been talking to this guy for 3 months now, been visiting him and he visits me, having sex and getting to know each other but I’m not exactly sure where I stand as sometimes he says things to make me question this.. I don’t want to be clingy or feel like I’m asking too soon what should I do 10. June 2015

Don’t ask ‘What are we?’ but simply ask ‘Where is this going?’ or ‘Do you see a relationship potentially coming out of this?’ – Be direct. It doesn’t make you clingy by asking someone you’ve been spending  time with where the relationship is headed.


Last year I stared dating what I thought was the perfect man for me. He completely swept me off my feet with these huge gestures, extravagant dates and things like driving me back home (to London) after a date in his town knowing that he’d have work the next day. However, he went on a business trip a few months ago, and everything has changed. He’s stopped all contact, but leading up to this point the conversation was dry as hell and his contact became infrequent. I am so confused, I would’ve expected this from another type of guy but I honestly thought he was different. What can I make of this please? 10. June 2015

He’s just not that interested any more. That’s it and it’s okay, because you will move on and date other people.


Hi, I met this man a little over a year ago. He was having a very bad time because his girlfriend cheated on him and I became his friend and helped get his mind off it. Then he got better and in the process I fell in love with him. We had some on and off issues but we never stopped talking. Some months back, I found out he was back with that ex. He still talks to me and we hangout often. It’s so hard to let go because I really love him. I don’t know what else to do. I want to leave and be happy but it’s so hard. I really love him. He told me recently that she left him. It got my hopes up but I don’t want to be a second option. What do you think I should do? Don’t make this public please. 10. June 2015

You have to cut him off. That;s the only way, he cant run back to you out of comfort when his ex leaves him. He isn’t even making you a second option, you’re making yourself one my dear.


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