Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book aprivate callhere
Is it wrong of me? My girlfriend has a friend that sleeps around a lot. Every other day she’s sleeping with someone new and the last guy she slept with didn’t give her what she wanted so she told my girlfriend that he drug and raped her. My girlfriend is getting stressed out and taking this girls problem on her head because she was a rape victim too. I don’t want my girlfriend to be friends with this girl because she’s a horrible person and she knows how much what happened to my girlfriend affects her and she is playing on her feelings. What can I do or say to my girlfriend I have evidence to prove that she lied, should I show it to my girlfriend or not?
17. June 2015
If you know she’s lying then show your girlfriend, but be very careful and discuss it with her first. Her sleeping around is not the issue the rape is.
Hello I’m a single mum to a two year old, I live just outside if london. I have no family around me or any help. I work full time and study full time. I feel like my life is over. I want to just give up. I’m depressed, exhausted, I’m only 22. I don’t know if I should give up uni. I don’t have any drive. I hate my life, I don’t like bring a parent. It’s so stressful, I only sleep 3/4 hours a night. I don’t hsvd a life. I love my child but I don’t know who I an. I feel suicidal and sad. Please what can I do to improve the quality of my life. Everything seems to hard.
17. June 2015
You need to see a therapist.
Hi Oloni, I’m a single mother and hace recently been speaking to a potential bae, however I’m not a fan of introducing randomers to my child or even talking about my child to guys because I feel my child is very sacred to me and don’t feel every Tom, dick and Harry needs to know such sacredness until I’m sure. My friend however advised me that this could hinder me getting into a successful relationship because it’s unfair to the guy I’m talking to as I’m withholding or omitting information. I’m so confused, please help!!!
17. June 2015
Hey! Having a child is not something you shoukd hide EVER. You don’t have to give crazy details about your kid, bit allowing a future love interest know that you’re responsible for someone else is vital. We live in world where some people like kids others don’t, but you have to give them that opp to know before things get deeper.
I was seeing/sleeping with this guy. Before we first had unprotected sex I told him I had a condition and described the workings/risks of it. I omitted the name of the condition (herpes) but ensured there was no ground left uncovered when I explained everything to him. At the time it seemed like a good idea until he called me a couple weeks back with what seems to be an ulcer type sore in his mouth. The rest of his symptoms aren’t synonymous with the STI so I have little reason to believe it’s that as we took precautions. However, he feels deceived and angry at me. What can I do/say to calm him down as I never intended to deceive him although now I understand that by omitting the name of my condition I impeded his ability to make a comprehensive risk assessment on whether to have sex with me. Briefly speaking, what do I do? Apologise etc or leave it be?
16. June 2015
Once you start talking about sex it’s important be straight & let him know what the infection was instead of trying to look for ways around it or being 100% honest. He has every right to be mad, but you have to wait for him to calm down and talk to him. Having herpes isn’t the end of the world, but you should have clarified the condition to allow him to decide what he wants properly.
Hi Oloni. Thanks for ur advice about the double date urs and a few others on the TL was constructive. ngl the comments about me being a witch and a demon on the TL are hurtful to say the least but so be it . Just to giv u background info. me and my bf have been together 5 years. My bfs great uncle (who he was close to) died last summer, but bear in mind 2 months BEFORE his death my bf broke up with ME (to this day hes never clarified y and I never ask becos I know hes grieving). Straight after his great uncle died we met and got back together but things have been stale as I said . He calls me every night (no exaggeration) he does most of the talking, but when we’re face to face it fizzles, we haven’t had sex/kissed/hugged since we got back together nada. I feel like his therapist rather than his gf. It’s not that I’m attracted to my besties man, I just enjoyed the attention cos I haven’t felt it in so long . I only wanted to tell my bestie becos we’re like sisters and I tell her everything, even minors. Is it fair idk where I stand in my own relationship? Am I a friendly shoulder to cry or a loving gf? I can’t seem to separate the 2 :'( I’m human! I have needs too, is that so bad? If I was such a witch I would have broken up with him during this difficult time! So do I abandon my own needs for his sake or demand to know where I stand in this relationship?
16. June 2015
Thanks for coming back & giving more info. The truth is it sounds like you’re an emotional crutch and if you haven’t spoken about why you broke up before, you really shouldn’t be back with him. You sound very unhappy and it wouldn’t make you a bad person to sort out the issues the both of you have. It’s like you said, you’re not a therapist. Just make sure you don’t act on the attention that was given during the date.
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