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Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymouslyPlease make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here

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Super frustrated !!!!! I love my girlfriend but we rarely have sex, and I mean rarely. Like once every 6 months if that. I’m always sexually frustrated she always turn me on and then falls asleep. Whenever I try to touch her she always shrugs me off, and say I’m being too clingy, I don’t know how much more I can put up with. I’m not the cheating type but Im getting to point where I’m feeling to walk away. I spoke to her about it and nothing’s changed. She tells me that she doesn’t like sex anymore because she had so much, that she doesn’t enjoy it. I try to be there the best way I can and try to be understanding But I’m always up at night because I can’t sleep because I’m frustrated. I really don’t know what to do 19. June 2015

Once in 6 months? Yeah, you both need to have a talk and get to the bottom of things. This doesn’t make you clingy it makes you human with desires to honestly be sexually pleased by the person you love and share your bed with every night.

Sex is a big factor in relationships, so if her excuse is that she’s had enough you might want to re-think things.


Hi Oloni, this is a bit of a complex story but I’ll keep it as brief as possible. Basically my friend has been with this guy on and off for about 4 years (let’s call him Dan) at one point I was seeing his friend who one day told me out of the blue that Dan had a child at the age of 15. He apparently decided he wanted nothing to do with this child and his family moved away. He moved back to the area a few years ago and is now with my friend. When Dan’s friend told me this story I was in 2 minds about whether to tell her or not, as it happened they broke up a few days later so I forgot about it. In between then and now another person has told me the same story, they’ve got back together and she’s now pregnant with his child, obviously I have concerns about whether Dan will do the same again to her. To my knowledge she has no idea about his other child, I have no proof of him existing other than the word of 2 people I no longer really speak to. I want to know if I should tell her what this guy told me or just leave it? 19. June 2015

Hey I understand this is a tough situation, but something needs to be said if she is a good friend of yours. Not because you’re scared that he may do the same thing, but because she’s about to have a child with him. Give her the opportunity to ask about it. Allow her to at least be aware of the situation, even if it’s gospel or a rumour.


Hi, I’m very excited about your event. I hope there’s some tasty eye candy (men) 😊. Can’t wait! 19. June 2015

I’m working on it! Thank you for getting a ticket x


PLEASE HELP!!! URGENT! Hi Oloni. I’m worried about my best friend. Her boyfriend has previously been violent with her (dragged her by the hair, thrown her around, threatened to hit her) and there was an incident where he was violent with her which resulted in her breaking up with him (he had been violent prior to this incident) she stopped talking to him but they go to the same uni so I know it’s not easy to avoid him and now they’ve started talking again and I think they’re back together. After the incident I told her to cut off contact with him because he clearly needs help but obviously she didn’t listen. She loves him but that doesn’t mean you should go back to someone that physically hurts you. Everything is fine with them for now but I don’t want it to get to a point where they have disagreements like before and he actually does end up hitting her or worse because the incident was over something so small so just imagine a big argument. I’m at a different uni so I wouldn’t be able to get to her quickly if something did happen. Please help, I don’t know what to do. Maybe he has changed because he realised he will lose her but I don’t want to take that risk. What should I do? Her parents know about the incident but do not know they are back together. 18. June 2015

There’s nothing I or anyone else can do about this but your friend. If she needs you, just be there. You can’t help her if she wont help herself. Abusive relationships can#t be dealt with from outsiders, not even friends or family. All you can do is continue report him to the police if you see his has harmed her.


My girlfriend is overly emotional and moody. She complains about anything and everything. Since we are way past the honeymoon period it is no longer something I can just live with. She complains if I see my friends and complains if I leave my shoes in the wrong place. Seriously anything. I sat her down and told her basically to just stop it. Its got to the point where whenever she complains or gets upset i just ignore or don’t care because its like the boy who cried wolf. She now is taking it personally and is withdrawn because she thinks I dont care about her when the opposite is true. Its just that I’m not a child minder and shouldn’t have to deal with that kind of BS. How do I stop this because the other day she even said that if I don’t show concern she will find someone that will. How do I make her see that it isn’t me with the problem (I’m aware of how conceited that sounds). How do I show her that if she just behaves emotionally stable and doesn’t complain if I show up at her house at 4:15 as opposed to 4 when I said I’d be there (yes this did happen) then everything would be perfect. 18. June 2015

The honeymoon period is like being on probation at work, you don’t really know your employees true colours yet. However I’m sure you dated for a bit before you both committed to each other. Have another talk and express how you feel. Saying things like how she’ll find someone else shows that she’s also reaching her breaking point. You need to get to the bottom of what is making you both act the way you do. Are you compromising? Are you listening?


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