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Hey Dami! I’m in an interracial relationship and I find that people are either always trying to make my relationship a political statement or try to make it out like being a couple of two different races is something so crazy and “extraordinary”. These people are friends, family members, acquaintances etc. Where as we feel like we’re just two people that like each-other. It just makes me feel uncomfortable sometimes, but I manage to get over it every time. I see it in my boyfriend that it’s effecting him, and I’m really scared because it’s taking a toll on the relationship. We’ve been together for 2 years and I adore him more than ever. If it was up to me, I would just ignore it and move on, interracial relationships are not uncommon anymore, nor are they superior. Neither of our families seem to approve of our relationship, but in the beginning we both agreed that we wouldn’t let it affect us but now it feels like maybe it was a childish fantasy ? I’m 22 years old from a turkish background and he’s 23 with a Nigerian background. What do I do oloni? I feel so confused, should it really affect us this much? Thanks in advance x 13. May 2015

It’s irritating that people can’t look past the colour. If you’re both happy that should be the only thing that matters. Two years is a long time, but if you want this to really work, you have to speak to your partner and let him know how you feel.

You’re both going to have to speak to your families and ask them kindly to respect your relationship.

You’re right interrelationships are very common, but even if it wasn’t that isn’t the point. Figuring out how you’ll both move past the negativity is.


Hi oloni, I’ve been seeing this guy for a couple of months but I can’t seem to trust him, he has given me reason before but assures me it’s different now. I really like him but I can’t give it 100% because I’m not trying to look like an idiot. What can I do? 13. May 2015

If you can’t trust him & want to save yourself the embarrassment… leave.


hi Oloni, I love your work :). so there’s this guy who has been trying to move to me for a quiet a while but I was never sure if he was serious. because we didn’t speak regularly he would contact me every and then and I would do the same. twice a month if not less but we seemed to get on well. it was until recently when I was a friends do, when he find out I was there, he literally drove down and said I am coming to you ( he did ask me on a date prior to this but I had so many assignments to do and was also in placement 9-5). anyway when he came to this friends do we had a great catch up and everything went well. the following weekend he came to my birthday, all excited and he keeps asking if I am single. after my birthday do he gave a ‘friend’ home. a day later she says to me he asked on a date, how do i feel about it. i wasn’t happy because when he drove down just to see me, I then realised he was serious, i was going to talk to him afterwards about this and sort a date out. the friend said she won’t go on a date with him at the expense of my feelings even though it seemed like she really wanted to and is still open it. Later on, me and him spoke on the phone and he brought it up, he thought I wasn’t much interested in him, i blew him off. i explained that wasn’t the case. after i explained how I felt he said he wasn’t aware of this, he will think about it and he doesn’t want to become two friends, its been 3 days as of today and he hasn’t called or texted to talk about the issue. I am interested in him and I know he would be great bf to me..What do i do 13. May 2015

It’s too early to be thinking about boyfriend & girlfriend. You told him how you felt, and now it seems like he was just playing the field. The wrong field actually. He came to your birthday and asked someone else out? He doesn’t sound like a great catch honestly.


Hi, I’ve been sexing a guy for a couple of months now and he hasn’t a clue how to eat pussy like my ex could. I notice him enjoying himself more than me! I’ve been thinking of advising him on how to eat me correctly in a nice way, but I’m scared he’ll take it the wrong way. It’s so shit though. Any advice? 13. May 2015

Don’t sit through it if you’re not receiving any pleasure from it. Let him know and guide him on how to do it they way you’d prefer.


hello ,I love your book 13. May 2015

Thank you x


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