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Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymouslyPlease make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here

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Hi Oloni, I went out on a date with this guy I’m kinda seeing now, I like him and I was under the impression he liked me as well but we didn’t even really have a kiss after the date even though it was going well. We both went home quickly and he told me “he doesn’t like to kiss if the girl’s wearing lipstick” which I thought was ott. The next few days the convo has been minimal and we haven’t talked on the phone since plus he’s saying he doesn’t want to talk to me everyday as well as saying he’s busy a lot of the time when I call. What do you think is going on and what should I do about it? Thank you. I love what your doing btw xx 30. June 2015

Move on. He’s not that into you


hello oloni, let me just say first off, i really appreciate and admire you for the help you offer to everyone who comes to you for advice! I used to be a confident girl and had no problem dressing up and feeling pretty but the past 2/3 years have been my lowest as i went through a lot of emotional trauma (had a baby at a young age) and after the whole drama and hurt i went through i didn’t see myself how i used to, dressing up became stress to me and when i eventually did dress up i didn’t feel pretty. I haven’t fully regained my confidence and all. So lately I’ve been trying to take care of my self, skin, hair, body everything. And I try to dress up better and make up when i go out to feel good about myself. My boyfriend on the other hand stays making those ‘who you dressing up for’ comments (and no not in that joking way you’re probably thinking, he actually believes i dress up for other guys and he’s the jealous type) I actually tell him for myself sometimes i say for him. What can i tell him to make him stop cos its not making my matter any better. 🙁 29. June 2015

Thank you so much for your kind words. My love you need to talk to the Mr and let him know how you’ve been feeling, getting your confidence back will not work over night, but I would suggest you also seek come counselling or therapy. Carry on doing what you’ve been doing so far, but trust me speaking to your other half will allow him to understand.


Hey Oloni, I’ve been the single girl for a long time now and I’m looking for the real deal. I seriously think there is a scarcity of good men out there but I was introduced to this nice guy recently and we seemed to get it along until he told me he was muslim which automatically turned me off especially as I’m a Christian. Do you think that’s a good enough reason to turn a guy down? 29. June 2015

If religion is a big deal for you, it’s better not to waste your time, with someone who doesn’t have the same faith as yourself. A successful relationship lasts when you both have the same morals. Saying that there are many great men out there, you just have to put yourself out there and find them.


Hi oloni, so me and this guy have been dating for about 4 years two years into the relationship I found out he had a girlfriend, but I never said anything and just carried on as normal and now last year I found out he lived with her. So I brought it up to him and he just brushed it off saying how he can’t fully commit to her because they have issue which she is not willing to deal with. Problem is for me I’m fully invested in him, he always makes the time and effort for me but I just don’t understand why he won’t leave her and be with me, he has even said himself that he’s at his happiest when he is with me. So what’s stopping him? 29. June 2015

He is having his cake and you’re allowing him to enjoy both. If he has a girlfriend that he lives with your concern should not be with him leaving her. It should be centred around the the person you now know he is. A cheater, a liar, a disloyal person. Something you shouldn’t want anything to do with. He is with her, because he is clearly still dependant on her and is receiving some sort of benefit.


Me and my ex broke up a few months ago and cutting him off has never bern so hard. The last time I cut him off was for a month but I went bck n contacted hin again. He still has feelings for me but he says that he just wants to be friends for now as he ain’t ready and that in the future he sees us together and if that doesn’t happen he still wants me close to him no matter what. I can’t take the the idea of jus being friends with him n recently I just lost my virginity to him, its been a few days n he has contacted me since or replied to my messages. I don’t know what to do, I’m starting to feel like he took my virginity n now he’s gone… 29. June 2015

Give it some time for him to respond however, I do think you’re wasting your time. This guy has told you in the kindest way possible that he’s not interested.  I know it hurts, but the way he is already behaving shows his true colours.


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