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**help!!** Hi Oloni. Basically I’ve been friends with a guy for a LONG time. Recently he’s told me that he has feelings for me and I think I may have feelings for him too. He’s always been a great friend and we’ve always had a really good relationship. The problem now is, he has a child with his ex girlfriend a few years back, and the mothers child is really something. She uses the child as a weapon against him and because of that he finds it hard to COMPLETELY break things off with her, but I know for a fact it’s only because he really loves his child. What do I do? 4. July 2015

He has his own issues, and honestly you need to leave him to it till he can finally sort them out. You shouldn’t be dealing with such drama at the early stages of the rshp. Have a talk with him because this won’t get any better, especially if you commit to something which isn’t great at the moment. There might be more to the story of the mother of his child behaving in a nasty way, you have no clue. However right now you need to think long term and ask yourself if the relationship has potential to work.


My man of a few years wont go down on me because he thinks its disgusting and has never done it before or will apparently. But he expects me to do it and knows I have once before him so throws that in my face when I refuse. Help?! 4. July 2015

You have to explain to him that you’re not being sexually satisfied. You can’t force him to do it and he can’t force you either. Just because you’ve done it before does not make you obligated to do it again. Have a conversation and find out if there are ways around it. Make it interesting by asking if you can get some edible lubricant so it’s becomes more enjoyable on his part.


Hi oloni, me and my ex boyfriend was together for 6½ years and throughout the ENTIRE relationship he was lying and cheating, we broke 8 months ago and havent spoken since ( bare in mind his had a new girlfriend since) But he tells his and my friends that what he has with his girlfriend is not real just to past time, however on her side it looks like the relationship could be going somewhere, also he calls and texts numerous times , and he tells me he misses me and wants us to be friends? what should i do? Im confused. 4. July 2015

This friendship has no positive foundation block and delete his number


Hi Oloni. After 2 months of not hearing anything from my boyfriend (he disappeared), he messaged me and brushed it off by saying that he was sorry and didn’t mean to come across the way I thought. Before he stopped talking to me, which was completely random btw because we were on such good terms, I was going through an episode (I have depression) so I was very ill at the time and had family stress. He knew this and failed to see how I was doing and I told him this. He’s not replies to any of my messages and I think he’s even deleted me off Facebook. It’s definitely over between us both, him not replying made things absolutely final but I just want to know why. I am so hurt 4. July 2015

You’re hurt because you’re disappointed, because you’ve been let down by someone who meant a lot to you. It hurts, it’s upsetting… but do you know what? You will be fine. You don’t need let downs in your life. I can tell you want closure, and would like an explanation, but two months is a very long time. What good would it do? Sometimes closure isn’t necessary. We just act like it is. A day or two of going on a hiatus with an excuse can be listened to, but two months just shows he checked out of the relationship, without being grown enough to explain why.


hi oloni, my best friend and I have recently grown apart simply because she’s living a fast life and I’m still at uni. I feel like she’s become this new person which I’m not really fond of, and a few months back a few people accused her of being an escort but at the time I wasn’t convinced that she was one because she kind of justified herself that she was working in ‘Canary Wharf’ and that’s where all the money was coming from. But now she goes on last minute holidays with grown men and then she tries to cover it up by saying that she still works. But I know her as a person that has never liked working and she has lied to me few times now about where she works. So this is where my doubts come in as to whether she might actually be an escort. Because she has always been loose from an early age. I wanna talk to her about it but I don’t know how to approach her about the situation, knowing her she’ll just flip it and say that I’m jealous of her ‘lifestyle’. 4. July 2015

I think you need to leave her to do whatever she’s doing. Unless she’s doing something that affects your well being, leave this situation alone.


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