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A few years ago I wrote a blog which shaped my entire journey as a sex and relationships blogger, called ‘The Girlfriend Fluffer’. If I hadn’t written it, Simply Oloni would not be what it is today and #AskOloni or my infamous threads would not have taken place. I wouldn’t have had the chance to meet so many amazing people who have believed in me and supported my journey and for that I’m extremely grateful. That’s why I’m unbelievably stoked to share that I’ll be releasing my first proper book titled ‘The Big O’!! It would mean the world to me, if you, your sister, your mum and your nan preordered it today by clicking here:

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I’m a 25 years old guy who’s never had a girlfriend , just friends with benefit. I don’t have sex a lot but I’m addicted to porn. I’ve met a girl who I really like but it’s been hard for me lately to have sex with her because I find myself comparing her to a pornstar, therefor I don’t get excited which makes her think that I’m not attracted to her. What advice would you give me to help me deal with this situation as I really like the girl! 5. June 2015

This question is tied in with addiction and is more suitable for a therapist.

Hi so I need some advise.. I was a virgin when I met my bf he then took my virginity after a year of being together. We’ve been together for over 3 yrs now and the other day I told him that the sex is so much better now then it was at the beginning because I never used to climax back then but now he makes me climax multiple times. But his reaction was not how I hoped it would be, I feel like I’ve offended him 😕 5. June 2015

Uh, men & their fragile egos. Some guys still assume that each time they have sex with a woman she climaxes and it’s absolutely false. You did nothing wrong, but be honest and open with your partner about your sex life. Give him some time and bring it up, if he still feels offended explain that was not your intent. He’ll come around.

Hi Oloni, my boyfriend of nearly 4 yrs is currently serving 5 yrs in prison (has done 16months so far) and it’s been extremely hard. I’m 21 and he’s 23, we also have a 2yr old that I’m raising on my own right now. Before he went to prison, we definitely had our ups and downs and my main issue was due to him not appreciating and supporting me enough. I had to sacrifice so much once I found out I was pregnant right before I turned 19, and I always felt like I did so much to make things comfy for him but he never really supported me enough emotionally. Don’t get me wrong, he’s always been a good dad to our daughter but it’s like my needs were disregarded. Anyway right now with him being in prison, he’s had some time to reflect on certain things that has happened between us and has apologised to me on many occasions and I’ve forgiven him because I love him and I can see he’s truly trying to change for the better. He tells me all the time that he wants me to wait for him and that he wants to marry me when he eventually comes home and start a new life together which is what I want too. He’s expressed to me on many occasions that while he’s away he doesn’t want me talking to/seeing any guy, even male friends I had before he went to prison & he knew of. I live on my own with my daughter and it can be lonely sometimes especially when she’s away spending time with her aunties & I end up feeling tempted to call a guy friend over, not necessarily for sex but just to have some company as it’s been a really long time. I don’t want to hurt my boyfriend but I don’t know if I can continue to dismiss my needs. If you have any advice for my situation I would really appreciate it – Olivia 5. June 2015

You need to decide if you really want to wait for him to come out of prison. From what you’ve written you’ve mentioned mostly what he’s promised and what he wants, but what about you? Can you really commit to several years of waiting for someone who never gave the greatest impression before he was locked up.

The only answer I have is to put YOU and your child first. Do what makes you happy, do what makes you smile & do what won’t make you feel lonely for five years.

I sometimes feel my partner deserves better. We are both loyal but a part of me feels i dont give enough. Should i be worried? Any advice 5. June 2015

These are normal thoughts that run through the minds of some in a relationship. You simply wonder if you’re enough. This could just be a phase & if your partner has given you no reason to think this way, chances are you’re worried over nothing.

Your Mingling Soirée is 2 weeks before my 21st. I’m so bummed cause I need to meet someone nice loool. P.s keep up the great work! 5. June 2015

Come to the next one & thank you 🙂

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