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A few years ago I wrote a blog which shaped my entire journey as a sex and relationships blogger, called ‘The Girlfriend Fluffer’. If I hadn’t written it, Simply Oloni would not be what it is today and #AskOloni or my infamous threads would not have taken place. I wouldn’t have had the chance to meet so many amazing people who have believed in me and supported my journey and for that I’m extremely grateful. That’s why I’m unbelievably stoked to share that I’ll be releasing my first proper book titled ‘The Big O’!! It would mean the world to me, if you, your sister, your mum and your nan preordered it today by clicking here:

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Thank you,


Hi Oloni thanks for answering my question. I decided to leave my girlfriend and I’ve been allot more happy recently. I believe I made the right decision thanks to your advice. 7. July 2018

You’re welcome 🙂

Dear Oloni. I’m in Ibiza on a girls trip and basically kind of cheated on my man last night. The plot twist is… that it was with a girl. My girls and I befriended another girl group and we all were at the same club, everyone was kissing and grinding each other other as girls do when they’re drunk but then me and one particular girl took things into the toilet cubicle and it went off. We fingered eachother, ate eachother out and grinded naked till multiple orgasms. It was so amazing I can’t stop thinking about it. I’m literally so confused as to whether this is a one time lesbian holiday experience or something more. I have been in an 8 month relationship with my man and we both love and trust each other. My head is all over the place and I’m unsure if this even counts as real treating as no penetration was technically involved, do I need to tell him? Also, what does this mean for my sexuality because I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want it to happen again…? Please help 🙁 7. July 2018

Hey love, yes you have cheated and you might need to rethink your relationship and ask yourself why you did it.

As for your sexuality, I can’t define that for you, only you can, there could be a chance you might be bisexual.

Make sure you get tested asap and have a conversation with your boyfriend and tell him what happened.


Hello Oloni! I’m having troubles in my current relationship because my boyfriend is jealous of mine and my best friend’s relationship. My best friend is a guy and we met in university, we basically spent most of every year seeing eachother everyday so understand we’re very close. My boyfriend doesn’t trust that me and my friend are only friends, and I’ve already explained to him that I am not in any way sexually attracted to my friend. My boyfriend is stopping me from going to see my friend, always goes through our chats and he deleted every picture of him on my phone. I don’t know what to do about this because I feel if I act out it’ll make me look guilty of something. Other than this I love my boyfriend more than anything and I really want it to work out with him. 7. July 2018

Your boyfriend is crazy. Run.

Anyone who deletes images/messages off someones else’s phone should not be in a relationship.

Whilst I understand why boy/girl close friendships can make partners uncomfortable there are ways to go about dealing with the issue, this isn’t it.

I genuinely don’t think this relationship is healthy.


I find my girlfriend really unattractive after I buss when we have sex. She will try to touch me more or kiss on me but I just feel like she looks bad afterwards and I don’t want her hands on me. I thought it was because she sweats a lot or her makeup comes off or a phase but it happens every single time unless I’ve been drinking. It puts me off wanted to have sex with her cos I don’t wanna hurt her feelings afterwards and she’s clocking on to me moving distant. Is there anything I or we can do? 7. July 2018

Oh wow. If you’re not attracted to her, it’d make sense to break up, especially if alcohol is the only time when there aren’t any attraction issues.

Is this the first time you’ve felt like this with a sexual partner? If so, there’s definitely some intimacy issues you have with her particularly.


Dear oloni, So I guess here’s my dilemma my boyfriend is always liking insta girls pictures and i honestly wouldn’t care if he wasnt doing it while I’m sat next to him! So one time he went toilet n left his phone on Snapchat i clicked on one insta girl he had followed on Snapchat n he was sending msgs like so sexy and peng like a fan? Anyways I have already ended things but I find myself internet stalking this one insta girl he was messaging like a fan and I find myself comparing myself to her and it doesn’t help her body is definitely natural and she stays getting 20k retweets n likes on twitter also, and she probably really is a nice girl but I keep staring her pics telling myself she only has body n her face isn’t all that n if u had her body u would be complete but seeing the retweets get higher irks me and I only feel way more insecure seeing all the guys comment on how sexy she is n her thigh gap n yada yada. How do I fix this unhealthy obsession My ex built in me 7. July 2018

Hey love! You need to block this girl till you feel secure in yourself. It’s clear as day and as you have acknowledged that this has taken a toll on your self esteem. I don’t personally know you, so I can’t tell you what to work on to help rebuild that, but you really need to work on yourself and also understand that there will always be women who are taller, thinner, slimmer, shorter, curvier and prettier than you, that’s going to always be there. What YOU need to focus on is figuring out what makes you unique, once you know that, nothing can move you in my opinion.

I hope you really do work on yourself before getting back into another relationship.


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