Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book aprivate callhere
Hi oloni my child’s father does not acknowledge her however I not long found out he has another child with a person I can only assume he is dating however he has said they just coparent but I can’t trust what he says as he’s a liar but do I try find the female as I want my child to know her sibling or do I just continue to raise my child alone and hope when they are older they find one another as I have no clue if she knows about me and I do not want to cause drama
27. February 2023
Sorry you’re experiencing this first of all. I hope you have friends and family who are supporting you. I do think you should notify the other lady, but what I really you to do is to get him on child support asap.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, so my partner and I have been broken up for nearly 8 months but have still been sleeping together, during this period I have also dated and slept with other people (close to home) but maintained or should I say lie that I have been focusing on myself. I want him back but don’t want to start on lies, I know if I tell him, he wouldn’t be able to move on, should I just take it to the grave?
25. February 2023
Are you sing protection with these other people? I don’t think it’s any of his business, but as long as you’re fine sexually health wise its entirely up to you.
Oloni
So I’m 22 and still a virgin because when I was 19 I found out that I have hsv1 (basically I get cold sores). I’m in a place where I want to get into a relationship, hook up and all that but I’m not sure how to navigate it. I have two friends who also have it but are in committed relationships who’ve said it doesn’t matter in the long run since a lot of people have it but I would feel guilty if any of my sexual partners get it from me. I just don’t know how to start navigating dating, relationships and hook ups because I’ve shit down after I was diagnosed and now I feel like if I don’t start dating now I’m going to be left behind and have no experience
25. February 2023
Hey thank you for sending this in. I answer this question in detail in my book The Big O
Oloni
Hey Oloni, I’ve been seeing a married man for 5 years – he takes care of me, our relationship is very low maintenance and I’m definitely not inlove with him.. he just *sigh* takes care of me so well. I don’t have a good paying job, my family rely heavily on me financially and he really has my back and the comfort and security I have with him is unmatched. I’ve tried dating other men but none of them are capable or able to meet my needs like he is. He is in the process of buying me a house. I know this can’t last forever and I do want my own family/husband and happily ever after but I also need to survive. Please help 🥺
25. February 2023
if I’m entirely honest I don’t know what you expect me to say. i’m sure you know that messing around with someone who is married is wrong, you both know that regardless of what he’s doing for you. I’m going to make this a QOTD
oloni
Hey Oloni, I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 5 months but we were sleeping together for a bout a year before we made things official. All of this to say, I want him to call me a slut 😂 (his slut, you know in an affectionate way) but he’s not into it. I loveeee having sex with this man 😍 he is gentle but passionate and turns me on in a way that no one ever has (and it’s a very healthy and loving relationship). But I would definitely say I’m more of the adventurous one – he’s coming out of his sexual shell more and let’s me do things like masturbate in front him and eat his ass (and he’s a black man – I feel like that’s big!) Anyway, he does try and be more open but when I suggest the slut thing he seems uncomfortable with the idea and makes it seem like it’s a weird thing to ask for (not in a mean way but definitely thinks it’s odd) or simply a product of me watching porn/negative past sexual experiences (which I agree that to an extent it may be) but if I want to reclaim it and it’s something that turns me on, is that wrong? I probably won’t ask him about it anymore but I can’t help feeling I’m not reaching new heights of sexual satisfaction just because he doesn’t want to call me a slut?? Thoughts?
25. February 2023
I completely understand what you mean, but if that’s his sexual boundary you have to respect it. maybe you can try other words like “dirty girl” or you could try a dirty praise kink. you could also ask the question instead and allow him to answer it. “Am i a slut?” “Can I be your slut?”. A lot of black men enjoy their asses being ate, don’t be fooled! Lol hopefully this helps!
Subscribe To Our Newsletter
Sign up to our mailing list to read our sex and relationship features first.
You have Successfully Subscribed!