Ask Oloni: “My Boyfriend Keeps Rapping In My Ear During Sex”
Your favourite sex and relationship agony aunt
All dilemmas have been sent from real people and taken from www.simplyoloni.com/ask but answered in this feature
Rapping his music to you? Has he lost the plot? Excuse me for laughing, but lol! I don’t think past sexual partners have told him that it’s a huge turn off. “Dirty bitch” I’ve heard of before, but rapping?? That’s a new one.
You need to tell him to cut it out, if you don’t like what he’s saying, literally say “Can you not do that and perhaps do this instead?” (let the “this” be, kissing your neck) – If he doesn’t listen, please don’t sleep with him again.
Heya it sounds like he’s clearly dealing with some misplaced anger and starting to resent the family you both created. Your ex is struggling to cope with the divorce and the infidelity, however it’s not an excuse, not even close to one. I think you should find a way to send him a message about what you’ve noticed as this could really begin to affect your children and ultimately, they come first.
He may not feel it now, but he’ll regret not being there properly, especially if this is due to what happened between the two of you.
Visiting his kids shouldn’t be seen as a chore and hopefully he’ll realise this. I think you just have to be patient, this isn’t something you can force on him.
You need to take action immediately, it’s common knowledge that STI’s can be passed when you have unprotected sex. It’d be selfish and sexually irresponsible if you don’t let both people know. What you can do is give both their numbers to a sexual health nurse, who can send a message anonymously on your behalf.
In fututre when you want to have casual sex, be sure to update your sexual health check ups every 3 months and ask all your partners about their last visit.