Ask Oloni – I’ve Been Having Sex With My Ex’s Half Brother Even Though He Has A Girlfriend

Your favourite sex and relationship agony aunt

Disclaimer: All dilemmas have been sent from real people and taken from but answered in this feature.

 Hi Oloni, I’ve just turned 20 and in my second year of university. Before coming to uni I’d been in only relationships. In my first year, I went a bit crazy and started to sleep with lots of guys when I went out and felt like I couldn’t control myself (even tried to seek help). But I start to hear shit about myself from other guys, so it made me think twice about my behaviour, I didn’t want a name for myself.
It wasn’t until my ex ( my love of my life) came back into my life and said he wanted to give things ago again. Me being honest, I tell him about all the people I had sex with since I last saw him ( it was 20 in a year) and straight up said he no longer wanted to give things ago anymore and didn’t see us ever being together in the future, so I was absolutely gutted. Since then I don’t feel like I will ever find a man that will except my past. Like I have re-evaluated my life, I don’t have the burning desire to sleep around anymore. But when I watch that BkChat series on YouTube where they talk about how ‘I won’t wife a girl with a body count higher than 9’. Makes me feel I will never find a guy who will accept me even though that phase of my life is over. Will I have to lie about my body count for the rest of my life? I can’t change my past so what can I do? – Anonymous

Hey love! There are several of women who have been in your position and at the end of the day, who you sleep with doesn’t define who you are as a person. If you’re able to sit back and reevaluate why you felt you were having a lot of sex, then to me that shows growth. Some people sleep around aimlessly without a clue, whilst others know that they simply enjoy having sex which isn’t a bad thing.

I understand in today’s society many still frown upon what a woman chooses to do with her body, but there is a guy out there who will accept you for you. Any guy who walks away from the person you are after being honest isn’t who you should want in your life.

As for sharing your past sexual partners, unless you’re having a conversation about your sexual health I wouldn’t understand why it needs to be spoken about.

Come to Simple Oloni’s debate night… LAID BARE

Hi Oloni, I’m in a situation where I am so tempted to message a girl on a “I come to you as a woman” vibe. Last year met this older guy I’m 20, he’s 29 whilst on holiday. He seemed so nice and lovely and was really into me and was proper pursuing me, taking me on dates, cruise dinners, shopping trips , VIP table/bottles for my girls he is a well known producer and was just spending literally over £2,000 just for my time not sex. He even told me when we get back to London we need to meet up because this can’t end on holiday.

When we got back to London we eventually went on various dates, chilled and had sex (he took my virginity- which I’m not pressed about) anyway, I found out he has been engaged for over two years via twitter . I was so upset because I felt like I was falling in love with him and saw a long term future for us. I asked him about it and he blocked me, then called me on private admitting that he is engaged and they live together – this means I’ve had sex in her bed.

He then asked me to meet up and talk which I declined and told him to just forget about me and what we did – his response was that “I’m being a stupid little girl if I’m letting what I see online ruin what we have”.

I’m trying to end our relationship but he just won’t listen and keeps popping up, I’ve blocked him on everything but he just finds a way to contact me or lurks around my twitter. His newest tactic is to threaten to take my car which he put money towards if I don’t stop my “childish behaviour” – His girl deserves a lot better and I deserve time to move on and not to be harassed.

I really want to tell her so he can get out of my life but I’m worried if I do then he’ll see it as I’m wanting him in my life not hers… if that makes sense. – Anonymous

Oh wow what a huge pickle.

So many questions to ask here, but I’ll just tell you what I think you should do. First off, he has more to lose than you. What a silly man. Threaten to get the police involved and to tell his wife so he can leave you alone. His behaviour is disgusting and if it still carries on, do not make those threats empty and move forward by telling the police and and his wife (?) to be.

Sometimes in life we come across nasty people disguised as angels. I don’t want this to warp your view of men, because the reality is not all dudes behave this way. I hope you are able to get out of this situation as it’s incredibly worrying. I’d also suggest that you try to get a new number, just for peace of mind.


I’ve been having sex with my ex’s half brother for a while, he has a girlfriend, he says he’s going to break up with her within the next few weeks. Should I come to his girlfriend as a woman (fucking up the chance of us being together) or wait for him to break up with her?

This is so messy. Why would you even want a relationship with him? Your ex’s half brother and he’s clearly cheating. Aren’t you bothered by any of this? I think you should leave his girlfriend alone.













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Dami Olonisakin

Dami Olonisakin

Editor-In-Chief and Founder of Simply Oloni.

1 Comment

  1. Belu
    January 11, 2017 at 12:52 pm — Reply

    Hi oloni,

    I’m currently pregnant with a guy who I’ve been with for just over 2years. However I feel as though things are changing between us, I’m not sure if he is even attracted to me anymore. We don’t have a sex life because he is now trying to turn christian and expects me to wait until we get married by which he has assured me is not this year and is not sure until when his heart tells him so. I feel deprived of any intimacy because he is not exactly the romantic type neither. We used to have fun and be much closer but he claims that things change and my expectations to keep us how we used to be is nothing but a dream as nothing is static. He self entertain sexually though we don’t have sex. He is there for me most of the times for food & financial needs and claims he wants to be with me in the future, however when I ask him why does he even like me he has no response. I have seen his eyes constantly wonder and occasionally seen some late night convo with other girls who he claims to be friends. Nevertheless more times he delete messages and call logs”to save memory”. Am I going crazy or does this sound fishy?

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