Ask Oloni – I’m Pregnant And Afraid To Let Him Know He’ll Be A Father Again

Your favourite sex and relationship agony aunt

Disclaimer: All dilemmas have been sent from real people and taken from but answered in this feature in more detail.

I met someone on Twitter, we were getting to know each other, had sex then he started acting weird. So I just cut myself loose, however about 3 months later I discovered I was pregnant. He has asked to meet up several times but I refuse to see him, one for the fact I can see he only wants sex. Secondly as he lied to me about several things including the fact that he was/is still actively dating the mother of his child. And lastly I’m not sure how to tell him he’s going to be a father again. I’m not 7 months pregnant and although I know he has the right to know I’m not prepared for the negative backlash. What should I do. – Anonymous

Hey hun, I hope you’re staying strong throughout this period. I know all of this is going to come as a surprise especially since you haven’t spoken or met up since. However, you’re going to have to tell him out of respect, you don’t need to be in a relationship or talk often before you tell someone you’re carrying their child unless it can harm your health in my opinion. As for backlash you weren’t really specific as to what you mean, but the only thing I can take from this is that it’ll get around and people may think you’re fibbing. If that is the case, then it should be the least of your worries, the only thing you need to focus on is how you plan to move forward with your pregnancy and communicating with the father about your current position.

 I asked my boyfriend to get tested and he’s making such a big deal out of it. He thinks I don’t trust him but that’s not essentially true! -Anonymous

Trust or not, please do not sleep with his ass again till he gets tested. If there wasn’t an issue he’d do it without a debate. Make sure YOU also get a sexual health test and provide him with the results. He should be glad he’s with someone who cares about their sexual wellness and it isn’t coming across that way. 

Hi Oloni, I’ve known this guy since 2012. He’s been in a relationship with this girl but they’ve now split up. We’ve been getting quite close and I really like him. I know he likes me too. I trust him 100% and he’s never given me a reason not to. The only issue is his ex is pregnant with his child. He’s asked me to be his girlfriend and I want to say yes but I’m not sure how things will work out when the baby comes.- Anonymous

Hey hun, If he’s been in a relationship since 2012 and broken up with his girl.. even though there is a baby on the way, I don’t think it’s wise you get involved with him, especially if it’s not going to be casual sex or just a fling. He has a family on the way.. and yeah he’s not with her now, but what about after the baby is born? I think you should let him focus on his family instead of creating an emotional attachment otherwise known as a relationship. You’ll lose out in the end.

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Dami Olonisakin

Dami Olonisakin

Editor-In-Chief and Founder of Simply Oloni.

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