RELATIONSHIP READSSEX & RELATIONSHIPS

Are Titles Important In Relationships?

How long do you need to move from the ‘seeing each other’ phase to being in a monogamous relationship with a title? In fact, what does ‘seeing each other’ even mean? Sleeping together? Chilling? Talking? Going out on dates??

There are couples who, technically, aren’t aware of being a couple because no title has been assigned to their situation. It’s as if today’s society are afraid of using the term ‘boyfriend’ or ‘girlfriend’ so, instead, use different phrases to cover up whatever it is they’re doing.

I knew a couple who were dating for a year before they made it official. She obviously had a lot of patience, because he took his time. Is this what’s normal nowadays? Within that year of dating and probably sleeping together, a title can’t be given? What’s the worse that could happen? It doesn’t work out… Right, you break up, just like every other person in a relationship. Every relationship has its risks. Even those who choose to deny commitment. Emotional investment is unavoidable. But for the sake of being ‘heartless’, people stick their middle finger up at titles assuming that’ll nullify the possibility of drama creeping in.

Months ago, I brought this question to Twitter and like always the females had way more to say than the men. Whilst the guys believed that any female who was comfortable with not being given a title was a ‘side chick’. . . Yeah, okay.

@makeupmytinab said: ‘A title is a title for a reason, if he can’t claim you then you would have to question your relationship on your half’

@missCee_TP ‘Honestly, I hate not having a title because as soon as I’m “seeing” someone I give them much love and loyalty… I can’t do “linking”’

I asked the men how they’d feel if a woman they were dating never wanted to put a title on their relationship @FXL_REVOLUTION responded to my tweet adding: ‘Titles are for show, as long as we know what it is, that is what’s important’.

@Unkle_K said: ‘I give fully and wholesomely so I need to know where I stand so I don’t become ketchup or coleslaw.’

I carried on this conversation with a couple friends of mine and most of the guys believed that unless the relationship had been for years, boyfriend/girlfriend titles meant nothing today. Whilst a close girlfriend of mine felt that a title on the relationship defined it.

Maab, 22, added: ‘Titles are important but only because they define the relationship. Some people can do that without titles, most people can’t. And unfortunately lots of men evade responsibilities/loyalty by evading titles. If it’s important to at least one of them, avoiding titles is the downfall, from which many trust issues will stem.’

She carried on by saying: ‘ You have to respect the people outside of the relationship who may care [about the superficial things like titles]. Not the person who is just nosey & want to know your business. Defining the relationship is not just about the people who are in it sometimes.’

I was once dating a guy who was going through a lot in his personal life so we decided to take things extra slow. At the time I thought being patient and considerate was all I needed to do, but looking back, it wasn’t. If you’re dating someone for over a period of time and you’re both aware of how serious it is, a title should never become a problem. There should never be an excuse to being unofficially official. That’s how boundaries become blurred and rifts occur.

From what I’ve noticed from relationships around me, us females allow men to dictate where things are going or not going.

Think about it.

How many times have you had the ‘Where is this going?’ conversation instead of the ‘Listen, if we’re not official I want out’ conversation. Exactly.

Admittedly, some people need time, before they take that next step. But, if you’re dating the same person for over a period of time, shouldn’t they be worth taking that next step for?

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Dami Olonisakin

Dami Olonisakin

Editor-In-Chief and Founder of Simply Oloni.

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