17 Sex and Dating Advice Every 20-Something Woman Needs

1) It’s okay to speak to him first. I know so many women who are afraid to go after what they want. Don’t hold back because of the fear of rejection. Girlll get yourself a date.

2) Tell him how you like it. Many of us are guilty of letting some men believe their great in the sack when it’s the actual opposite. Do this by guiding him when you get stuck into things.

3) Stop hitting the clubs if you want to find Mr Perfect. Now clubs aren’t necessarily a bad idea if you want to go out and enjoy yourself, but don’t always rely on it if you’d like to meet a guy. Try going to new places.. to meet (I always say it) new people.

4) Discuss when the last time you were tested. I’ve heard of stories of individuals getting offended when being asked this question by their partners. Apparently, it comes across as though, they’re ‘dirty’. No one has their sexual health results written on their foreheads, so you should never be offended, be delighted that the person you’re sleeping with cares about their health. Safe sex, is the best sex. So always use protection and find the right contraception for yourself.

5) Pay attention to red flags. Don’t turn a blind eye to all the dodgy things a guy you’re dating does. Especially in the early stages. Is he constantly cancelling? Does his stories never add up? Whatever it is, do not ignore. They’re called ‘RED FLAGS’ for a reason.

6) Introduce a toy or three into the bedroom. Sex toys increase the pleasure of sex and adds a bit of fun to the mix. So why not spice up things? From cock rings to bullets, you’ll definitely notice a difference.

7) Don’t stalk him constantly on social media. We’re all guilty of doing a little background check. Finding out what university he went to, how many siblings he has.. but stop yourself from getting to know him via Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.

8) Initiate phone conversations. If you’re in a textelationship whereby you only communicate via texting, cut that off. Relationships are much more healthier when you create at least 15 minutes of time to catch up with each other regularly. Texting is lazy and doesn’t give either of you the chance to make a real effort.

9) Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay. This should have probably been mentioned first but a lot of us are still ignoring the art of foreplay and wondering why we don’t always feel sexually fulfilled. A good 20-30 minutes of kissing and rubbing always adds wonders to your sex life.

10) Friends With Benefits are never, actually, totally…well your friend.. so never treat them like such. The only time you have a conversation with the person you’ve chosen to have sex with no strings attached is when you’re asking if they’re available to get down.

11) Do not start bashing the guy you dated for 4 months on social media after he decides to end things.. or just ever. Don’t tweet the Drake lyrics that are clearly relatable, stay away from indirecting him about how sloppy of a kisser he was. Find another way to vent your feelings.

12) You are in control of your sexuality. It belongs to you, so never allow anyone to make you feel funny for how you want to explore it.

13) Your ex is not for sex. Your ex is your ex and the moment you do this you create a whole lot of confusion for yourself. ‘Does this mean we’re back together?’, ‘Is this all it’ll be?’. You don’t need that in your life.

14) Don’t date him for too long. If you find yourself still dating after at least 8 months, this is more than likely what it’ll stay as. Never be afraid to say what you’d want from whatever situation you’re in, but don’t stay in something and believe he needs more time.

15) Don’t wear your heart on your sleeves. Always remember not everyone is deserving of all the love you have to give so take things slowly before opening your heart to a complete stranger after a few weeks of dating. Let your love become a mystery instead.

16) Let him watch you play with yourself. This too can be a part of foreplay, but soak up each moment of time before sex by turning him on and asking him to watch you before things really take off.

17) Talk dirty to him. You don’t always have to wait till your indoors before you whisper dirty sweet nothings into his ear. If you’re going out shopping for example tug his arm, lean in and tell him how you’d like to be bent over later that evening.

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Dami Olonisakin

Dami Olonisakin

Editor-In-Chief and Founder of Simply Oloni.

1 Comment

  1. October 25, 2015 at 6:53 am — Reply

    This is all so true and helpful. Need to remember #15 more often.

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